Joy

There is something missing in my life at the moment. It is something that no one can give you, nor is it something that someone should give you.
It is joy.
I'm not talking about love, or wedded bliss, or contentment. I'm talking about an abstract. This kind of joy is rarely expressed. It is entirely internal. It's not the kind of joy that you share in and of itself. It's not a mutual feeling. It's the kind of joy that motivates us to do things that bring joy to others. It's a feeling inside that comes back every morning with the opening of your eyes. That feeling of being, that feeling of not only being glad to be alive, but of being grateful for the gift of life. It's something that makes you get through rough times with the same resolve that helps you appreciate the good times.
It's such a simple concept. It's something that should be so easy to hold on to. Life is a gift that we're not always wise enough to appreciate while we are alive. Life is a source of so much regret when that joy is missing. Life is a treasure that we relish every minute of when that joy is with us.
Worry doesn't change things. Yet we worry a lot more than we care to admit. Things don't get better because we worry about them. Life gets better when we act in a strong, positive way. The ability to do as much, I believe, stems from having that joy.
It's so hard to get hold of something that when we have it, we don't know that we do. This joy I'm talking about isn't a tangible. When we look for it, we don't have it. When we have it, we don't do enough to nurture it, and we can lose it without trying.
I want it back. I know that this particular feeling can't be given back. Even by those who would wish it for us. I guess it's a natural process, much like breathing. It's not the only thing in life. But life is so different without it.
Wish me luck.