Thursday, October 30, 2008


I talked about coming back to familiar favorites the other day, when I talked about people getting back to eating real food when they go out. I'd just like to clarify if I may?

I wasn't talking about the frequency of dining out, I was talking about the activity when they go out. I'd just gotten tired of dining out and watching people eat yard clippings instead of food. I can't imaging viewing a meal of birds nests as something people enjoyed on purpose, ya know?

Anyway, something else I miss:


I miss "yay!"

When people burst out into cheers nowadays, they yell "wooo!"

Poor "yay!" No one uses that one anymore. And don't get me started on "hooray!"

And I miss clear, pronounced speech. Every time I watch TV or a movie, it seems that, no matter the situation, everyone talks like they're in bed, just waking up. Bedroom voice, that scratchy tone that I often whine about, is ok when they're filming a bedroom scene or something, but I see news interviews, documentaries, etc., and everyone speaks like they're seducing us or something!

And I miss, "I'm good, thanks, how are you?" Nowadays, you ask, "How ya doin?" and you get these silly, over-the-top responses such as, "I'm awesome today!" or "I'm better than I deserve to be!"

Cut it out, will ya? I get it.

Of course, there's the reverse, such as "Don't ask!" That's probably why people don't like to ask, "How ya doin?" as much anymore.

What do you miss?

Not Mine, But...

I didn't write these. I got a kick out of them and thought you would too. If you're old like me, that is.

Hollywood Squares:

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q.You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Things That Need To Stop!

Politics in this country will never get better. Bad weather will continue to ruin big events, taxes will always go up, and the government will always suck no matter who is in power.

Those things we can't change.

There are a few things, though, that we probably have a bit of control over. And I was thinking of a few that we could could fix. Or at least make go away. Let's look at my suggestions, and then maybe you could add yours to the list.

Here goes:

  1. Tire Warranties. Firestone, Bridgestone, it doesn't matter. If you read the list of things these tire warranties don't cover, it's 10 times as long as the list of things that are under warranty. Basically, if your tire goes flat, get a new one. The tire company will only make YOU go flat trying to make a claim.

  2. Same with Verizon Wireless. Their "water damage" bullshit, the reason they will declare a phone out of warranty is a crock. Even if you live in the desert, during an extended drought, that little red button by the battery will tell them your phone is water damaged. Blame it on a mirage maybe.

  3. People who include the phrase "wake up people!" when they're expressing their political opinions. Yeah genius, the whole world has been hibernating while you went and figured it all out.

  4. Calling Reality TV "Reality". Most of us don't, and probably couldn't live in that "reality." And others among us don't want to ever accept that people like that define "reality."

  5. Dismissing asenine, rude, obnoxious and stupid behavior in others by saying "Oh it's just So-and-So being So-and-So." No, Sir, an idiot is an idiot. It's not charming. "Free Spirit" is not the moral equivalent of "Complete Moron."

  6. Television broadcasts that are nearly unwatchable now due to the screen being splashed with logos, animated ads and crawls. Advertise during scheduled breaks. simple as that.

  7. Business news channels. CNBC, FBN, Bloomberg, whatever your choice. The reporters on these channnels have now assumed the role of "Experts." 90% of what these so-called "Experts" are spewing over the air is complete nonsense. Go back to reporting on stories, and stop editorializing. Let the experts be experts. Those people screwed things up badly enough. We don't need reporters and anchors adding their own two cents.

  8. And let's close with a business fix. The CEO's and their teams of leaders, who have blessed us with the most recent financial disaster need to be held accountable for their accomplishments. This wasn't "business gone awry", this was arrogance, ignorance and stupidity run amok. These people didn't fall prey to cyclical downturns. These people let greed lead them to try and tap into something that should have been left alone. Period. Make some noise. Get them called onto the carpet.

OK, your turn...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Plug For A Friend...

Hi folks.

You'll often hear me talking about the wonderful young couple who used to be my neighbors. When I was laid up like an invalid a while back, these two young people took care of me like I was their own family. Two of the best people I have ever met.

Niki, the Mrs. of the couple, recently pointed out that her sister is running an online business. So as I am eternally indebted to Niki, I just thought I would add a plug and links to her sister's site and blog.

I like that is on the site, and I think you will too. Geezees Canvas

Here they are:

The business website: click here

The blog: click here

Shaking It Loose...

Being that I am such a tech geek, I keep up on the latest gadgetry, toys, trinkets.

I don't, however, like cellphones at all. I like the technology, mind you; it's the application I dislike so much. We have grown adults walking around using them like pacifiers...when something gets boring, watch them reach for the binky. Kids don't even seem to be aware that life exists even when it isn't on the other end of a cell call.

But my real problem is that I got one for the obvious reasons. Safety, convenience, security. Turns out, mine is turned off a lot for a lot of other reasons. though.

It never rings when I want it to, always rings when I don't. It's a portable invasion of privacy, as far as I am concerned.

And people who have sense of courtesy, manners or civility feel free to invite us into their personal nonsense on a daily basis. And I say nonsense because, as I have figured out, people with brains and class don't hang their filthy laundry for the world to hear. People without those two things have no problem spewing their personal business anywhere and everywhere.

Anyone who has read me here realizes this is nothing new. My un-love of the mighty cell has been around for a while. It's gone from a peeve to an outright dislike. I figure these things aren't going away, I better do something. Legal I mean.

I guess this is my attempt to shake it out of my system.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Just Thought This Was Funny

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Chewing the Fat...

Part of the business I'm in requires me to go to dinner with clients. Business dinners. Yum.

I've noticed a small trend. A trend that, if it takes, will make me happy. I always defer to the client for the choice of restaurants, and the last five choices they made seem to be going against convention.

Three chose steak houses. One chose a sushi joint (gag) and one picked a burger joint. OK it was an "upscale" burger joint (if there can be such a thing), but it was a burger joint nonetheless.

Can it be? After too many years of being served grass, weed-clippings and pet dander, can it possibly be that people are returning to food?

Sushi isn't food, by the way. I used to pay $3 a bucket of that stuff to take it fishing where I caught fish and took them home and cooked them, and now they want me to pay $5 a PIECE to stick it on a hook and shove it in my OWN mouth.

But I got lost there a second. As I wondered, can we possibly be back on the track where dinner in a restaurant is once again something intended to bring pleasure? Can fine dining (burger joints can be fine, too, ya know) actually be a situation where we break from the norms of our daily eating habits and actually enjoy ourselves?

I went on vacation with a friend, and she had to allow an hour per day for her "training". Which really meant about 2 and 1/2 hours as she had to dress for the gym, and then spend an hour afterward primping for the other parts of our vacation. And she wasn't really "training" for anything. She just couldn't imagine 7 whole days of just relaxing and enjoying herself.

It's the same principle, you know? How often do we really engage in "fine dining"? Would one steak per month really hurt you? Would a burger every third week put you in a coma? Come on now!

I don't think there's anything wrong with sitting down in a restaurant and letting one's hair down (or loosening the belt, so to speak)once in a while. And I'm so happy at the prospect that Good Eats might actually come back into vogue.

Think I'll call a client and go for some ribs. See ya.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

How To Not Feel Badly...

I don't know where I heard it, but someone said, "Just because there are so many people far worse off than you, doesn't mean your pain doesn't count." To me, that's such a great quote.

We've got this whole thing going on in our society these days, where someone is always telling us that we shouldn't feel badly because somewhere, someone is suffering so much more than we. And others tell us that we should spend no time dealing with the things that are bad in our lives, in essence, get over it and move on.

I will agree, 100%, that dwelling on problems isn't the most productive way to live. When it comes to things that we have no control over, it's probably best not to ponder them too long. I'll give you that. But the impression I get from some people is that they consider feeling badly, being upset over things that go wrong, is somehow selfish or greedy bahavior.

We work with superstition and beliefs, telling a bride that rain on the wedding day is "good luck", for example. There is nothing wrong with being encouraging and supportive. Nothing at all. But treating someone's feelings as if they're doing something wrong by hurting, well I don't always see that as constructive.

Yes, some people are never happy. If life isnt 100% perfect, they're miserable. That's not a realistic view of life, and that's not a healthy disposition. But sometimes, things do happen to people, things they may not be able to control, and the hurt they feel is very real. Are we doing them a service by telling them something like, "Oh you have so many things to be thankful for, get over it."?

I think it's sort of wrong to condemn someone for hurting. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. I think that feeling badly, being upset, is a natural reaction. I don't think that having most of one's ducks in a row should render one immune to pain. I believe we should be supportive of those who are dealing with crises, and not be too quick to dismiss what it is that is causing them pain and sadness just because most everything else is in order. No one should be made to feel inadequate or selfish because they succumb to bad feelings now and then.

Again, I'm not advocating the behavior of those who never seem to be happy. In truth, there are those who make a career out of being in the dumps. A pity-party regular, so to speak. But now and then I think everyone is entitled to hurt. Life isn't perfect, and we shouldn't expect it to be. But to me, it's not wrong to hurt occasionally.

What do you think?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Perchance To Dream...

I dreamt that I was using my cell phone to send a text. I was using my headset in the dream and was composing the text using my voice. I was very happy about that.

Then I woke up. Not happy. My phone doesn't do that in real life, but that wasn't the problem.

I mean, with all great stuff that there is to dream about, my brain comes up with that?

I think I need a tune-up.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

To Cap It Off...

My skeletal situation makes picking things up off the floor a little difficult. It seems that everything I want to buy in the supermarket is on the bottom shelf, and things are always dropping to the floor.

In high school I participated on the shot-put team. I wasn't very good. You have to hurl a 12-pound steel ball and try to hurl it far. I couldn't do that too well. No gold medals for me.

So how come when I drop a bottle cap on the floor, it winds up 480 miles away in Cleveland??? Or I dropped a screw to the light fixture, and I think it's still rolling, 4 years later.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Very Corny

Now that it's becoming more apparent that the Ethanol Mandate is probably going to go away, The Corn People are going to have to stop trying to shove their product in our tanks.

So now they're looking to start shoving it down our throats instead. How funny is this site?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I do enjoy being silly. Most of the time. But sometimes I really wonder how we can keep smiling when things just seem to get tougher on us. These are some of the questions that come to mind.

I must note that I am just as guilty of the posted sins as anyone else

Sitting and looking at the whole Credit Crunch Fiasco, I can't help but think. There were a lot of people who sought to benefit from the underhanded practices that took place in the credit markets the last few years. Admittedly, there was a lot of sleight-of-hand and misrepresentations, but it just makes me remember the adage, "If something seems too good to be true..." My question is, could every single person who got into these situations, particularly in real estate have been completely unaware of the loaded guns they were picking up when they agreed to sub-prime mortgages?

I think of all the product recalls from a year ago, and how the most recent one once again involved Chinese products ( I just wonder how all the companies that repeatedly violate consumer safety practices in this country remain in business in this country. Will we really tolerate anything to save a buck?

And speaking of bucks...Alan Fishman lost WaMu. He was CEO for 18 days and stands to make over $13 million. Stan O'Neal was at the helm at Merrill Lynch when that firm went by the wayside because of bad investment decisions in the sub-prime lending fiasco. He walked away with nearly $160 million. And the guy in charge of Lehman brothers could possibly net $240 million for his troubles. Are we really going to allow these guys to profit so handsomely from their disastrous leadership? Shouldn't we be screaming to our Congressmen or other lawmakers to see what can be done? If not, why not?

And to finish spitting up here today, I just want to know if anyone can't point out the moment in time when elections became a matter of choosing who lies the least?

What's happened to us?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Things Is Fixed?

Usually Mondays aren't too great. I sometimes feel like I am the human equivalent of a Monday, you know, like no one really likes them, but they can't make them go away, so they deal with them as quickly as possible. And wait for Tuesday, of course.

So Blogger has finally surmised that I'm not a Bot (as in SPAMbot, as in Robot). I wouldn't make a very good robot. Robots don't typically fall down and break things. Or do Stupid things. And they can generally walk without a limp. And without crutches.

It's funny...while I was in Spam Purgatory, it just meant that I had to type in one of those word verifications in order to publish my entries. Not really a big deal, but I didn't like having to do that. It kinda made Blogging less fun. And being that I had no or little time to Blog, the draw just kinda wasn't too powerful.

But two things have happened this day. Blogger figured it out, and, I actually have a couple of free hours. So now maybe I can get back to doing what I do best: being annoying, like a Monday.

And now that I have been de-BOTted, I understand I can write a whole bunch of nonsense, and schedule it to publish in advance.

So, folks, I'm back.