How To Not Feel Badly...

I don't know where I heard it, but someone said, "Just because there are so many people far worse off than you, doesn't mean your pain doesn't count." To me, that's such a great quote.

We've got this whole thing going on in our society these days, where someone is always telling us that we shouldn't feel badly because somewhere, someone is suffering so much more than we. And others tell us that we should spend no time dealing with the things that are bad in our lives, in essence, get over it and move on.

I will agree, 100%, that dwelling on problems isn't the most productive way to live. When it comes to things that we have no control over, it's probably best not to ponder them too long. I'll give you that. But the impression I get from some people is that they consider feeling badly, being upset over things that go wrong, is somehow selfish or greedy bahavior.

We work with superstition and beliefs, telling a bride that rain on the wedding day is "good luck", for example. There is nothing wrong with being encouraging and supportive. Nothing at all. But treating someone's feelings as if they're doing something wrong by hurting, well I don't always see that as constructive.

Yes, some people are never happy. If life isnt 100% perfect, they're miserable. That's not a realistic view of life, and that's not a healthy disposition. But sometimes, things do happen to people, things they may not be able to control, and the hurt they feel is very real. Are we doing them a service by telling them something like, "Oh you have so many things to be thankful for, get over it."?

I think it's sort of wrong to condemn someone for hurting. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. I think that feeling badly, being upset, is a natural reaction. I don't think that having most of one's ducks in a row should render one immune to pain. I believe we should be supportive of those who are dealing with crises, and not be too quick to dismiss what it is that is causing them pain and sadness just because most everything else is in order. No one should be made to feel inadequate or selfish because they succumb to bad feelings now and then.

Again, I'm not advocating the behavior of those who never seem to be happy. In truth, there are those who make a career out of being in the dumps. A pity-party regular, so to speak. But now and then I think everyone is entitled to hurt. Life isn't perfect, and we shouldn't expect it to be. But to me, it's not wrong to hurt occasionally.

What do you think?