I really tried to think of something terrific to write today, because overnight last night, my Gram went home to Heaven.
But as I sat here struggling for a fitting tribute, I realized that the best thing I could write about her would be that she loved us all. And we were very lucky to have that in our lives.
Till then, Gram. We love you very much.
I can't walk well. When it gets slushy and icy out I really can't walk well. It's been rather icy and slushy the last couple of days. I'm very angry about that because I need to go up to NY and visit with Gram at the hospital. But if I fall and break my head, I'll be visiting from the next bed. If ever a drought could be a good thing, I'd like to find out about now.
Gram is going to go into Physical Therapy starting Monday. It will be a move to another facility. She's not quitting just yet. I think that's very cool, and very brave. But you know what, it's just Gram doing what she thinks she needs to to not be a pain in the butt. See, she said she doesn't want to go home until she can walk because she doesn't want to be any trouble. Gotta love her. So she goes to rehab so she can walk well again.
The least I can do is get out there and see her, support her. So this week I go, ice or not. Keep praying for her with me, will ya?
Well, the news wasn't so great. There was a mass in Gram's abdomen that has been identified as cancerous. She's 93, so there aren't a lot of options here. Surgery is almost a 0% possibility and of course chemotherapy at this stage would do more harm than good. Gram's doctor, obviously, has given us this information, and she feels that hospice care is the best option.
Gram seems pretty at-peace with the whole situation, and is examining all her choices for said Hospice care. It's just so sad, though, because she really, really enjoys life and it's always (and I honestly mean always) been a pleasure to live it with her. Being philosophical is fine and all, but still, there's just that little bit of, you know?
The family has promised to honor her every wish. She hasn't lost a step in her mind, and she is sharp as a tack (even if you should happen to wake her from napping, she's right on her game). So this is not a case of deciding what's best for someone, but rather, doing our very best to see that she gets what she decides is best for herself.
I'll be by to update again on this. Just please ask God to keep her pain at a minimum. Oddly enough, she doesn't seem to be in much at all, at least for the moment. But let's ask that it stays that way, ok?
Ok so put your wet-suit on if you're going to read another word of this, because this is going to be like a weather report: partly whiny, with occasional grumbles, but clearing at the end of the day.
If you'll pardon me, 2008 has 90% sucked out loud. Very, very ungood, as I like to say. Now while I have a lot to be thankful for (for all you philospohers out there) it's my opinion that if you can't do what you want to for the people you love, then the resulting feeling is that things are pleasant-not.
Sigh
I have to admit though...I think it's me.
As my wooden coffee table is a dust magnet, I have been a mess magnet. But as a magnet attracts, I attract ungoodness...non-luck...anti-beneficial stuff.
Yeah it's me. I feel like I not only cause my own quagmire, I believe that I brought a lot of the yuck to people's lives as well. I come in the room, it's like that scene from "Ghost" where the demons come up outta the ground all black and moaning, and drag people off.
My career is in its infancy stage for the second time in my life. Only I didn't get to be 23 again to do it all over. And being all bent up and driving with that parking permit hanging on the mirror just serves to remind me how close I am to being a fossil.
So with that all in mind, I figure I have to make some changes. One of those changes is to start by fixing my attitude. I think it reflects on people when your mouth looks like it's full of salt, ya know?
But me turning into Jimmy Sunshine is going to take some work. Kinda like completely filling in the Grand Canyon. Will rake some planning and preparation. And probably some fertilizer.
The first thing I have to do is let it go. Spit it out, get rid of the venom.
That's not very simple ya know, especially if you've known me for a decent amount of time. You know very well that there are lots and lots of people out there whose sole purpose is to make me very mad all the time!
But I have to purge. I have to stick my thumb down my figurative throat and get it the hell outta there.
So...
Between now and the end of this miserable, stinkin' lousy rotten smelly year, I am going to spout about the things that always seem to be a thorn stuck in my tongue. We'll go one more round with all of them, and then start the new year all fresh and pretty and new.
Well, maybe not fresh and pretty and new. But you get what I'm saying.
I'll update about Gram as I can ok?
Hello my friends. It's me, returning from another M.I.A. episode. So to begin, I'd just like to lean a minute and get some things off my chest.
We've had some illnesses spring up in my family of late. One had an ok ending, sort of a work in process. The other situation camee out last night.
My grandmother, aka Gram, received some bad news Monday morning. She has cancer. She is 93 years old, and her health has been failing somewhat, but only in the last couple of years. She has always been a vivacious Lady, one of those people who when you say, "She is always ready to help or lend a hand" it really is true.
I spent Sunday with her at the hospital, and while it was a good day, it couldn't be perfect because there were things there in the background that we'd only find out about Monday.
I'm really sad about this. It's not a feeling a grief right now, it's more just a plain ol' sadness because I really enjoy watching her enjoy life. I could make her whole day just stopping by to take her to lunch (Gram is REALLY my buddy 'cause she likes Applebee's too!), although the last couple of lunches I had to bring in to her because she was not really able to get out. I really would like to get a few more of those lunches in with her, you know? So maybe remember Gram in your prayers today ok?
