Food Rules!

 We all love food. We spoke about food. This is a two-part rule. In part one, I'm dealing with kinda the way our government deals with illegal immigration: Nobody obeys the law, so now we'll talk about exactly in what ways you can break the laws, ok? So... without further ado, let's take a look at Part 1:
Since eating in your rooms seems to be going to happen, let's deal with that: Please return all dishes, glasses, etc to the kitchen. This should be done in the same century in which the food/drink was consumed. And before the leftovers sprout new life forms.
Part 2:
Let's be sure to scrape all excess/leftover food into the garbage can. It's right in the kitchen, the same distance you traveled to get said food.

Penalty: I really mean this one. Really. If I find food fossils in bedrooms, guess what will be on the dinner table the next evening.
Also, if I look in the sink and see a buffet in the drain strainer, guess what will be on the menu the next night.

Get it?

Relocation Program

Here we go again!

Ok, I figure it's a privilege to have a TV in your room. When one is done watching said TV and leaving the room, please press the little button that says "Power". This will turn the TV set off and cease to consume vast amounts of electricity.


Failure to adhere to this request will cause the Relocation Rule to go into effect. 


Relocation Rule:
If above rule is not followed properly, TV set will be relocated to Ebay.com. Dad needs golf clubs.

The Ruling!

OK Kids, here is the first rule!

1. Clothes can only move if they're attached to your body. They will not magically fly up off of the floor by themselves, and the stationary bike is truly not part of the closet. The hamper has been placed there, not to cover a spot on the floor (although there are plenty of those), but rather to collect those garments no longer feasibly wearable.

Since you are now conceivably (pardon the pun) old enough to have children of your own, thou shalt assist with the laundry. And by assist I mean do one step more than making the clothes dirty. 

Thanks 

New Series!!!

I am now the full-time father to three kids again. I'm feeling quite good about that. My life is improving daily because of the time I spend with them.

I'm also becoming very aware of the need for some Law and Order in the household. I was a kid once, and I remember doing nothing unless I was told. I also remember doing things once I was told forty to fifty thousand times. We all have similar memories, as long as we weren't raised by the US Marine Corps.

I like to parent rationally. I like to try and do things right. So, naturally, I'll be asking for feedback from some of the smartest (and most susceptible to sucking-up) people I know. Ready, set, GO!