The Great Cell Purge

I must let go of the Cell Disease I have. It has to go because the cell phones aren't going away, and if I keep griping, I will go away in that 6x6 hole. Gotta deal with it.

People will continue to serenade us with unwelcome and unwanted conversations, in restaurants, malls, etc. I have learned that you cannot shop in Walmart unless you have a cell stapled to your head so that you can babble away. There is a segment of the population for whom driving without yappin' on a cell would be like the rest of us trying to walk without legs. I gotta accept that.

I will move on with one closing thought: Cellphoniacs will stay in control unless I perfect that device that makes them explode on demand. Heh heh. Ya never know.

The Great Purge...continues...

Politicians. They are a necessary evil. I wish there were a way to live without them, but there really isn't a better way to keep 305 million people in line. Isn't that a delightful thought? We have to have them because there isn't an alternative for us.

Whenever there is an inauguration, I watch very closely. I look for the moment when the judge takes the very large Bible and smashes the incoming over the head with it.

It has to happen. Only a severe head injury could explain why it is that someone who seemed very decent and smart and capable prior to the swearing-in could transform into a lying, double-talking, double crosser in such a short time.

I'm tired of listening to these maniacs. I hate the fact that it seems only a matter of time before any and every one of them gets bagged for doing something crooked. And I keep wondering how many of them would be left if we passed a law making stupidity a punishable offense.

So yeah, they're bad. But they give us someone to blame for the lousy condition we're living in, ya know?

Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State.

Sorry, I had to finish barfing.

The Great Purge...

I know that I had gotten started a few weeks ago with the whole "Walking In Their Boots" project, but that has to wait (mainly cause this is my Blog and I don't feel like doing that right now...)

I decided that if I'm going to turn around my life a little, I have to get the poisons out of my system and clear the brain somewhat. So this series will be a little bit like Primal Scream therapy, ya know?

So let's start the list.

People I Have to Not Be Around Or Think About Anymore

• Yes...Lousy Drivers-People who are incapable of driving as though they have both gasoline in the tank and brain in the skull just aggravate my hypertension. And get on my nerves a lot. I have been heard saying such things as: "Hey pal, you driving that car or carrying it?"; "Wow, you're not the worst driver in the world, but when that guy dies..."; "The long pedal on the right...step on that one!" I have often found myself wishing that I had those fancy weapons like the fighter pilots in "Star Wars". And saying words that I'd have gotten my mouth washed out with soap for. We need to stop thinking about these people because an aneurysm is sure to follow.

I think this is a good start.

Performance Evaluation

Ok so put your wet-suit on if you're going to read another word of this, because this is going to be like a weather report: partly whiny, with occasional grumbles, but clearing at the end of the day.

If you'll pardon me, 2008 has 90% sucked out loud. Very, very ungood, as I like to say. Now while I have a lot to be thankful for (for all you philospohers out there) it's my opinion that if you can't do what you want to for the people you love, then the resulting feeling is that things are pleasant-not.

Sigh

I have to admit though...I think it's me.

As my wooden coffee table is a dust magnet, I have been a mess magnet. But as a magnet attracts, I attract ungoodness...non-luck...anti-beneficial stuff.

Yeah it's me. I feel like I not only cause my own quagmire, I believe that I brought a lot of the yuck to people's lives as well. I come in the room, it's like that scene from "Ghost" where the demons come up outta the ground all black and moaning, and drag people off.

My career is in its infancy stage for the second time in my life. Only I didn't get to be 23 again to do it all over. And being all bent up and driving with that parking permit hanging on the mirror just serves to remind me how close I am to being a fossil.

So with that all in mind, I figure I have to make some changes. One of those changes is to start by fixing my attitude. I think it reflects on people when your mouth looks like it's full of salt, ya know?

But me turning into Jimmy Sunshine is going to take some work. Kinda like completely filling in the Grand Canyon. Will rake some planning and preparation. And probably some fertilizer.

The first thing I have to do is let it go. Spit it out, get rid of the venom.

That's not very simple ya know, especially if you've known me for a decent amount of time. You know very well that there are lots and lots of people out there whose sole purpose is to make me very mad all the time!

But I have to purge. I have to stick my thumb down my figurative throat and get it the hell outta there.

So...

Between now and the end of this miserable, stinkin' lousy rotten smelly year, I am going to spout about the things that always seem to be a thorn stuck in my tongue. We'll go one more round with all of them, and then start the new year all fresh and pretty and new.

Well, maybe not fresh and pretty and new. But you get what I'm saying.

I'll update about Gram as I can ok?