Monday, March 08, 2010

Lease?

What has happened to me over the last month is so cliché that I'm embarrassed to even write about it because I can't do it without sounding like a bad novelist. But I have to do it. I'll take the chance.

I have a new lease on life.

That does not mean that from this day on that I'm going to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. There isn't going to be some magical transformation into Pollyanna or something. I'm still me. Just different.

I almost died. That is not a statement I made of my own volition. I was told by a fully-qualified medical doctor that the person who brought me to the Emergency Room saved my life. I was officially stupid on Friday night, February 12th. On that night, I became one of those people who insisted I knew better, that I was in control of my senses. I was an idiot.

Thank God, she was not an idiot. The doctor told me that, with what I had wrong with me, I was lucky she won out, and I was lucky to be alive.

That's pretty strong language, right?

I don't much like the thought of being dead. I know I will be someday, but now would not be a good time. I have people who depend on me, who love me, who like me with air in my lungs and who are glad that I am on this side of the dirt.

I'm trying to be a little silly with this because otherwise it makes me want to cry. A doctor wouldn't say that if it weren't true. There was no audience. Only he and I were there.

I'm having those moments of cognition. I see my kids with clearer vision. And yeah, the food I'm able to eat tastes a little better. And the dog even gets a little more attention. The world isn't nearly as annoying lately.

I spent 8 days in a hospital bed, in a very good hospital. And anyone who is familiar with the way HMO's and insurance companies run the medical field these days knows that 8 days means I must have been really, really sick.

I was.

And I haven't smoked a single cigarette (though that wasn't the root of the problem) since that Friday. Almost a month.

So, I like things a little better these days. And I don't smell as badly as I must have when I was a human chimney.

I do still like boots though, so as I said, I'm still me.

I feel as though I was an episode of "House, MD". Not completely uncool.

And I feel as though my Blogging Muse has repossessed me.

Thanks for the time you spent reading this. I hope you'll be as glad I'm not a corpse as I am at the moment.

14 comments:

  1. LOVE YOU and am super glad you are alive.

    What happaned my friend?

    S~ xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's a great feeling isn't it?

    Sadly mine came about with my daughter's car accident. I tossed my last cigarette into the street and never picked up another one. That incident probably saved my life.

    A year later, my doctor told me at the rate the Emphysema metathesized I would of had far less lung capacity if I had continued. As it is now I can tell you breathing is NOT overrated.

    I'm not sure what happened but being alive in whatever condition is a glorious thing. I'm glad you're still with us. (Hugs)Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude! So glad you decided to stick around. Sorry you had that experience. Keep the faith, bro....and I'm always around if you need to "talk". ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jimmy, i do hope you realize how much your story will touch and inspire everyone who reads it. You're so right ~ people do love and care and depend on you, and sometimes it's hard to recognize that until something happens that threatens the very core of our existance. If it had to happen, i'm only grateful that it happened the way it did and you had someone near you who saw the danger signs and helped you to understand. i myself am just over a year being a non-smoker, and let me tell you ~ freedom from that nasty vice will give you a renewed strength (and many more years of seeing those beautiful kids of yours).

    God bless you, Jimmy. Thank you for sharing and for being here. Life would suck without you.

    ::hug::

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so glad you're still here!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I get frustrated when I can't express myself with words. What else have I got?

    Hoping you can hear what I'm not saying...

    Love,
    Nance

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jimmy I am so sorry you spent that much time in the Hospital ~ and I am glad your friend took you there ~ I for one would have missed you as I am sure many others would have as well ~ so a big Thankyou to your friend ~ Ally x

    ReplyDelete
  8. Holy Cow? What happened?!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Glad that you were able to ride the storm out and are still with us. Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I tried commenting last night, but BLOGGER was having an AOL moment! So I guess it never posted...;(
    I just hope that you never go back to cigarettes.
    My ex had a heart attack this past december & is still drinking & smoking. Now He's STUPIDsheeeet!
    {{{HUGS}}}
    Marie

    ReplyDelete
  11. just wanted to let you know I'm glad you're not a corpse!!! thanks for the bday wishes, too!

    Tracy~

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had heard you were in the hospital, but I didn't realize it was such a serious matter. Thank goodness you're okay!

    I can't imagine a world without our Lippy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am EXTREMELY glad that you're on this side of the dirt too, my friend. What in the world did you have?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've not been here in a while, Jimmy, but I'm glad you're still with us. I don't know how many times I've told you that running head-first into moving bulldozers is a bad idea, but you never listen to me.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments. I won't lie about that!