OK Kids, here is the first rule!
1. Clothes can only move if they're attached to your body. They will not magically fly up off of the floor by themselves, and the stationary bike is truly not part of the closet. The hamper has been placed there, not to cover a spot on the floor (although there are plenty of those), but rather to collect those garments no longer feasibly wearable.
Since you are now conceivably (pardon the pun) old enough to have children of your own, thou shalt assist with the laundry. And by assist I mean do one step more than making the clothes dirty.