Monday, July 05, 2010

Coming Clean: September 2007

Pop came to the house, and I moved some of my stuff in too. This wasn't going to be easy, but I felt it to be a necessary choice.

Part of the problem was that Pop was affiliated with the Veterans Administration for his medical care. He was a combat-disabled veteran of the Korean War, so his medical care was essentially free of cost to him. While he lived on Long Island, his care was administered through the Northport facility, and a Dr. Mohammed Zarrabi. The care afforded him there was top-notch, but the facility was far from us.

We arranged for a transfer of his care to a more local place, the VA Hospital in East Orange, NJ. I'm sad to say that this hospital left much to be desired. The staff was eons away from Northport's level of humanity. It was more like a Motor Vehicle Bureau; the staff was expertly trained in the techniques of ignoring people. After one consultation, I was certain that I could not subject Pop to this sort of treatment. He and I made a mutual agreement to continue his care at Northport. It would mean a lot of driving, appointments were at the least, weekly. Sometimes more. Emergencies would mean that I'd have to stay on Long Island while he was admitted. But it was all much better than what might have taken place at East Orange.

In the meantime, I'd begun my job search in earnest. I registered at such sites as and I thought my credentials meant that it would simply be a matter of time before I was gainfully employed.


  1. Jimmy, it's sort of meaningless for an internet person to tell you to hang in there - but although it's been an awful falling trajectory for the past couple of years, you are not alone.

  2. It's not so much the hurdles we have to get over in our lives, it's how well we land on our feet once we do. I honestly, don't think there is a foolproof plan for any of us. The best we can do is strive to retain our humanity, integrity, and compassion. The worst is to bow under the challenges life lies before us. You dear friend manage to stand strong through it all. (Hugs)Indigo

  3. Sometimes the best choices are not the easiest.

  4. Hi Jimmy,
    I remember those days when you were blogging about Pop. I thought then, and still think, you did a great thing for your father-in-law. You were there for him when he really needed it. I still laugh about one of your stories ... I think he was complaining about the 'garbage' on TV these days ... perhaps without realizing that he was watching a video of his grandchildren!

  5. Anonymous2:17 PM

    Hugs and kisses to you! xo

  6. Jimmy sometimes choices are hard to make ~ but I think you made the right one for your FIL ~ ~ Ally x

  7. Your f-i-l had a great son-in-law, you know that Jimmy?

  8. Anonymous5:30 PM

    You don't take the easy way; you take the right way. You don't have anything to "come clean" from. ~Mary


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