Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Thoughts On A Holiday

Typically, with the Easter holiday, "freedom" isn't the theme for the day. But I had an experience Sunday that really brought that to mind.

It was all seemingly unimportant, but when I thought about things, it really became significant.

Case in point: There was a couple seated in front of me in Church, probably in their early 30's. They had with them a little boy, my guess is about 3 or 4 years old. From the moment the three of them settled in the pew, the show began. The boy immediately cut loose. He grabbed at the songbooks, then the missals, each grab was met with some resistance by the parents. He was climbing up on the bench. then down under the bench. They would pick him up to restrain him, he'd squirm, they'd put him down, he'd continue. He got a good hold of one of the songbooks, and immediately began tearing the pages out; Mom grabbed the book, then Dad picked him up, he squirmed and cried. Dad put him down, he made for the aisle.

You get the point.

All I could think about was what life was like the rest of the week with this little Tyrant. From the minute his eyes open, he dominates the lives of everyone around him. This future criminal had no boundaries, no restraint. I could only see life with this kid, every waking moment of the parents' lives dedicated to either fulfilling his wants, or meekly resisting behavior they don't approve of. I know that throughout history, people have struggled, sometimes in vain, against tyranny. The worst of it had to be when the invaders reached the home front, which is what these people dealt with the entire 60 minutes of the Church service.

I'm not a perfect parent, but at least in my life, the hierarchy is established. That's the case, in part, because I know that the world requires some restraint and decorum, (although these days, good manners and behavior might be a detriment to them) but my brain would never allow a 4 year old to dictate my life to me.

Parenting is hard. That's an understatement. But it requires the proper efforts from day one of the child's life, or one can be prepared to battle it out for freedom for a long time to come.

Not exactly an Easter thought, but it did become very important to me.

And man, it was exhausting to watch.

16 comments:

  1. Isn't it though? I see it a lot. We don't allow our children to act like that. The nicest thing ever was the complement we received from an elder group out to eat. We were sat right next to them. They were probably think oh hell here we go a nice dinner turned into an annoying escapade, actually it was quiet pleasant. ly Cass isn’t it though? I see it a lot. We don't allow our children to act like that. The nicest thing ever was the complement we received from an elder group out to eat. We were sat right next to them. They were probably think oh hell here we go a nice dinner turned into an annoying escapade, actually it was quiet pleasant. Ly Cass

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  2. You need to talk to my dear husband. He lets our kids get away with everything so I always have to be the bad guy who steps in and disciplines. I REFUSE to let my children behave horribly like that little boy at your church.

    No way, Jose.

    I do not want to be the mother everybody regrets inviting to parties or get-togethers because of her heathen children. LOL

    XOXO

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  3. You know what's really sad? That kid is going to have problems his entire life because his parents let him behave like a little monster as a child. All his life, he'll expect people to let him get away with whatever bad behavior he exhibits, and when someone calls him on it (perhaps a boss, perhaps a wife or partner), he'll hate them for it.

    Beth

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  4. I had to make my blog private. Let me know if you'd like to contine reading by sending me an email. I'll add you to my readers list if you like.

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  5. I went to Mass with my daughter Easter Sunday and some things don't change...I had to fuss at her for fussing at my grandson who does no wrong... :)

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  6. Every parent needs to read this. I think you should actually print a copy and hand it to that couple.

    I'm not a parent, so perhaps my opinion is less valid, but it irks me to no end the way I witness today's parenting (or lack thereof). And we wonder why we have a 'ME' generation on our hands.....

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  7. Well said. Everyone razzes the upcoming generations for feeling so entitled - but it's the parents, not the children who are to blame. Parents have to set clear boundaries for their kids AND ENFORCE THEM, otherwise the kids run the show.

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  8. Nancy9:05 AM

    I wouldn't write him off as a future criminal, but I sure would agree about your other sentiments! That stuff drives me nuts...

    Your kids are incredible, btw.

    Nance

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  9. I see the same kids at the BBQ I work at...One mother changed tables FIVE times becasue THE CHILD could not make up his mind where to sit! If it had been mine, he wouldn't have been ABLE to sit! lol
    love ya,
    carlene

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  10. Ms Goddess, your opinions are ALWAYS relevent, important and most welcome!

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  11. I long for the days when you could actually discipline without fear of being accused of brutality. We have become so soft.

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  12. If my child tried to act like that in church we would be outside in a heartbeat.

    He ripped the books?!

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  13. ISOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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  14. LYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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  15. I find situations like that so frustrating. Not only have they created a rod for their own back, but they've let their kid down, too. And everyone around them suffers as a result.

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  16. Did I ever tell you about one of my cousins we were sure would turn into a serial killer? Yeah... good times... lol

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