The Co-Op: Pump Up the Volume

So we have a problem with volume in the Co-Op. Volume as in "too damned loud!" There is a huge need for some sort of soundproofing, or perhaps maybe for me to go deaf so I won't notice so much.

I think there is a certain amount of self control necessary when working in an office where there are a lot of people making phones calls at the same time. It's not a good thing to be shouting over each other, especially when the people on the other end of the phones have to listen to this too.

Family Guy. Ohhh Family Guy. Shut UP. If there was ever a human being who should have come equipped with a volume knob, it's this nob. Oh my God, we tell this guy regularly that the's busting windows with his ridiculous phone-bellowing. We've even gone so far as to print a "Speak Quietly Please" sign on an 8x10 sheet, framing it, and putting it on his desk. For real. He inspires thoughts of violence in his co-workers. We like it when he's away.

Gramps also has frequency issues. See, somehow he's gotten the idea that if he's calling someone in California, say, then he has to yell very loudly on the phone because they're so far away. And he doesn't work up to a crescendo-he goes full blast right out of the gate, like a jackhammer.

H. blows by our office. He has a problem. He can't speak on the phone at his desk. It's like a compulsion; he has to wander the halls as he speaks. You know if you're standing on the street and a police car flies past with the siren wailing? Same effect. But the hall smells after that. Oh yay.

None of them should work in a funeral home.

Ow.