Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Driving Through Church

I wouldn't normally think of driving on the highway in the same frame as going to Church. Although with all the busy people out there leading such busy lives these days, can Drive-Thru Mass be next?

I digress.

I've come to realize that Sunday Mass and a Sunday Drive are opportunities to see a lot of what's gone wrong with us. Really!

First off, where is the hell is everyone going in such a friggin hurry? Speed limits are a thing of the past, I know that, but why the hell does everyone need to drive like they're escaping a tidal wave?

And if you want to see where courtesy has gone, just watch roadway etiquette these days. I've seen people who'd rather die than let someone merge in ahead of them. It might hold them up 15 seconds to let the guy in, but then what would one do to make up that lost quarter-minute. Good god no!

Used to be, if you were one of those idiots who insisted on latching on to the left lane like Bin Laden to a cave, you were open to tailgating and flashing lights. Now all you have to do is be on the road. HEY, GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'M A BUSY GUY YA KNOW!

Being a rude, idiot driver makes no logical sense. But yet...

And Church...Sitting through a service these days is a test of human endurance. I watched a woman come into Mass recently, carrying a Starbucks bag. She proceeded to unwrap a coffee and I what I believe was a blueberry muffin and eat it during the Mass. And seeing a moron on a cellphone during a Mass is so commonplace these days that it's barely worth mentioning.

People show up dressed in their Sunday Worst; they show up whenever they want. At Sunday's Mass, the priest was wrapping up after Communion and there were still nitwits showing up. My friend, the Future Criminal, was there today, tormenting his parents. I'm not sure what the fuss is, though, because he was no more disruptive than a typhoon. But people don't remove obnoxious children anymore because people assume it's their right to inflict their little Plagues on the rest of society unimpeded.

And I think nothing says it better than what I experience first-hand these days. While I'm hardly a helpless cripple, I am sufficiently handicapped to the point that I must walk a bit slowly, and with a cane. More than once, recently, I've been shoved past by someone on their way into Church. I can't walk too quickly, but I can still fight, and my handicaps provide me with a nice heavy weapon. But my Christian upbringing was at least good enough that I know it's not a good thing to club someone on the Church steps. Even ignorant morons who don't realize how lucky they are that we are, in fact, on hallowed ground.

Anyway, I'm finished with my amateur pyscho-babble.

What's your take?


  1. I'm not a churchgoer, but I suspect things are a lot different from when I was a kid going to church. I don't doubt you for a moment about cell phones in church--they're certainly everywhere else!

    I'm constantly amazed at the level of asshattery on the roadways. At least once in a while, you get someone who lets you in, waves you on, whatever, and it renews your faith in decency. I like to be a courteous driver...it makes me feel good to let someone in and get a friendly wave in return. I can also get equally irate when someone is a jerk. But I'm working on that.

  2. I find it amazing that before Mass begins they have to announce that everyone turn off their cell phones. Isn't that a "duh" thing? I don't even bring mine in because I can't very well have a chat with dear old mom while listening to the priest.

    And don't you hate it when everyone leaves right after communion? I wish just once the priest would leave before Mass was over just to show people how rude that is! If they are in such a hurry to leave...stay home!

    Jimmy there are worse things that can happen besides being shoved aside....someone could treat you like an old man and try to help you along. When they start doing that...you will complain about not being that old. hehehe

  3. oops I used "amazing" sorry! substitute "incredible" instead.

  4. Oh, decorum at church. I have so many opinions, so little time. Let's just say the lack of respect and/or commitment shown toward Deity is a huge pet peeve of mine.

  5. Lol. I've seen all of this. Gotta love how you write it tho!

  6. There's always Wicca. It can easily be a solitary venture. ;)

  7. Faith has certainly changed in this country.

  8. This nonsense is apparent everywhere. It sucks. But I have an assignment for you...should you decide to accept it.

    Take a week...and only look for (take notice of) all the nice gestures. All that's good and right in the world (outside of your family). It might be hard, but I wonder what the results might be.

    I'm not being sarcastic, or trite...I'm simply suggesting a task for my Lipster friend.

    Do you accept this challenge?


  9. Hahaha, about the speed limits. Here in the small town the top speed limit is 35mph. When I go home to Phx, I have to remind myself to go faster, well, the nice people there remind me with a one finger wave...haha! I love it when I get waved to like that!

    As for Church. I notice the same thing about people going into Church in their Sunday worst. I suppose the Lord doesn't care, he's happy that they are there, but I'm sure he'd be even happier if we showed up spiffed up, had our breakfasts at home and waited for a Monday trip to Starbucks and kept our kids in check. It's been my experience as a teacher, and as a church goer that you act to the level you're dressed to. Dress sloppy act sloppy and so on.

    In the last LDS Church conference in October one of the speakers asked us to make sure and help the reverence of the meeting by taking our screaming kids out of the meetings, turing our phones off etc. That's one request I have no trouble adhearing to. My Dh will take out the baby even before he starts to scream, because if there is one thing, it's that our baby is a howler!

  10. People don't dress up for anything now do they, our parents taught us to take pride in our appearance.... when did it cease to matter what you looked like? Don't talk to me about cell phones! People who have them always seem to have extremely loud voices, they sound like they've swallowed a megaphone and don't really need to use a cell phone ~ there friends could hear them over a twenty mile radius! Car drivers over here are manic too, seems like everything is happening on a global scale! Jeannette xx


I love comments. I won't lie about that!