Thursday, July 30, 2009

Two Views!

Ok there's a few ways to tell a story, right? Let's look at this made-up tale as an example:

"I woke up, went out to the front door to get the newspaper. I looked across the street and saw my neighbor's house in flames. I ran in and called 911, and the Fire Department got there in time to save everyone!"

OK. Now Version 2:

"I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 7:30 AM. I figured I had a few minutes before I had to get ready for work, so I went down to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I use Maxwell House coffee now because the Starbuck's coffee, which I used to drink and really liked, got so expensive.

Once the coffee was brewing, (I like to make sure the pot actually starts brewing, because sometimes I come back to find water all over the counter. You really don't want water running on the formica all the time, ya know?) I decided I would have my coffee while reading the newspaper. I prefer the Gazette now to the Examiner, because the delivery is so much earlier, and the paper is such a quick read. You can fold it a lot easier because they don't fill it with a lot of advertisments.

So I opened the front door, which I recently fixed because the hinges were all out of whack. I got the new hinges at Home Depot which had them on sale a lot cheaper than Lowe's, although Mary's husband works at Lowe's and tells me all the time that they carry stock so much cheaper. When I opened the door, I saw the newspaper exactly where I like it to be, which is why I give the paperboy a bigger tip these days. I thought for a minute that I smelled smoke, and was afraid that maybe my coffee maker had malfunctioned, because you can't always be sure with that stuff you buy in Walmart. But then I caught a flash from the corner of my eye, and for a second thought it just might be a glimmer of sunlight which wouldn't be unusual for that hour of the morning, being that it's summer and all.

Well it was then that I realized that Tom and Delores' house was on fire. They've been living there since 1975. I met them through Bill and Margaret who I knew from Church, and they're very nice people all around.

I didn't want to take a chance, being that so many people might have left for work already and might not see the flames, so I went back inside with the newspaper and set it down on the table. I wasn't sure if I should use the cell phone to make a 911 call, so I opted for the house phone, which of course, was nowhere to be found. Jane leaves the phone in the whackiest places, and since I've gone cordless, I haven't been able to keep track of where the darned thing is. Luckily there's a 'pager' function that you can use to locate the handset and it turned out it was in the living room. We're having that painted, so the phone was hidden under one of those blue tarps you see, which I'm not sure are better than the old canvas ones.

I dialed 911 and they picked up on the first ring, which really surprised me, since you hear so many bad stories about 911 mistakes these days. They ran a story like that on 'Dateline' this past weekend, which we watched off a recording instead of live because we were out on the boat with Phil and Louise, who are the best hosts in town when it comes to dinner parties.

I couldn't believe how quickly the fire department arrived. I could hear the sirens within a minute or two of making the call, and I was surprised I could hear them over the hum of the air conditioning system, which I have to have checked out before this summer is over.

Well I'm happy to say that the FD got the fire out pretty quickly, considering how intense the blaze was by the time they got there. The family got out in plenty of time, and I saw them all standing in their robes and pajamas, while the neighbors brought them drinks and blankets, which probably isn't necessary with it being summer and all.

Ok, you have to go now. Thank God for the Fire Department, huh?"


Please tell me why, no matter what, I always end up with the Version 2 Tellers?

My ears bleed daily!


  1. Let me guess: Version one is told by a male; Version two is told by a female.

  2. I feel your pain.

  3. There was a fire in there somewhere on Version 2??? :o)

  4. Version 2 lost me at 'Maxwell House'. :)

  5. Okay...I like details...but DAMN!
    I'm surprised they didn't tell you about eliminating their bowels and popping zits prior to coming downstairs to make the coffee. :)

  6. LOL! You're are like lightening with the technology, I must say! I like story 2, but then again, I've been known to make people's ears bleed. I guess that's my style :D

  7. My sweet 82-year-old mama is definitely a version 2 Teller! I am not a patient girl, so it makes me a li'l bit crazy!

  8. LOL!!!!!!!! I get those often too. Not only those, but the ones who are telling a story about "one" thing, then suddenly it connects to another thing, then you get the, "OH, as I was saying..." Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


I love comments. I won't lie about that!