A New Friend!

I've found a great new blog, just in time for summer. The Lady's name is Denise M. Smith and she's put together a great cooking blog, with recipes I can actually understand and use!


Please visit http://denisemsmith.wordpress.com/ and have a read. Please tell her Lippy sent ya!

Food Rules!

 We all love food. We spoke about food. This is a two-part rule. In part one, I'm dealing with kinda the way our government deals with illegal immigration: Nobody obeys the law, so now we'll talk about exactly in what ways you can break the laws, ok? So... without further ado, let's take a look at Part 1:
Since eating in your rooms seems to be going to happen, let's deal with that: Please return all dishes, glasses, etc to the kitchen. This should be done in the same century in which the food/drink was consumed. And before the leftovers sprout new life forms.
Part 2:
Let's be sure to scrape all excess/leftover food into the garbage can. It's right in the kitchen, the same distance you traveled to get said food.

Penalty: I really mean this one. Really. If I find food fossils in bedrooms, guess what will be on the dinner table the next evening.
Also, if I look in the sink and see a buffet in the drain strainer, guess what will be on the menu the next night.

Get it?

More Sadness

Five months after the death of actress Brittany Murphy, her husband, British screenwriter Simon Monjack, was found dead Sunday night in the couple's Hollywood home, according to the Los Angeles County coroner's office.

Monjack, 39, was pronounced dead after the Los Angeles Fire Department was called to the residence for a medical emergency, say authorities. Police spokesman Sgt. Louie Lozano said the preliminary cause of death was natural causes, but investigators remained at the scene.

Relocation Program

Here we go again!

Ok, I figure it's a privilege to have a TV in your room. When one is done watching said TV and leaving the room, please press the little button that says "Power". This will turn the TV set off and cease to consume vast amounts of electricity.


Failure to adhere to this request will cause the Relocation Rule to go into effect. 


Relocation Rule:
If above rule is not followed properly, TV set will be relocated to Ebay.com. Dad needs golf clubs.

The Ruling!

OK Kids, here is the first rule!

1. Clothes can only move if they're attached to your body. They will not magically fly up off of the floor by themselves, and the stationary bike is truly not part of the closet. The hamper has been placed there, not to cover a spot on the floor (although there are plenty of those), but rather to collect those garments no longer feasibly wearable.

Since you are now conceivably (pardon the pun) old enough to have children of your own, thou shalt assist with the laundry. And by assist I mean do one step more than making the clothes dirty. 

Thanks 

New Series!!!

I am now the full-time father to three kids again. I'm feeling quite good about that. My life is improving daily because of the time I spend with them.

I'm also becoming very aware of the need for some Law and Order in the household. I was a kid once, and I remember doing nothing unless I was told. I also remember doing things once I was told forty to fifty thousand times. We all have similar memories, as long as we weren't raised by the US Marine Corps.

I like to parent rationally. I like to try and do things right. So, naturally, I'll be asking for feedback from some of the smartest (and most susceptible to sucking-up) people I know. Ready, set, GO!

Protocol?

I'm curious about something, and I'd like your opinion/input please?

The electronic age has done nothing if not accelerated our immediate gratification demands. But something good happened, and I'm not too sure what to do.

I got an email from a good friend the other day. What she took time to write absolutely floored me (in a very good way). She was just so gentle, kind, compassionate and caring that I was very choked up by the whole thing.

It took me quite some time to read. And then it took some more time to digest and appreciate the time it took for her to compose such an incredible outpouring of love for me. I love my friends, one and all.

Now typically, if I get an email requesting info, or asking a simple question, if I have the answer at hand, I shoot right back. But there are occasions such as this, where I want to sit back and reply just as deeply from the heart. I don't want to just say, "thanks!" It takes a while, usually, but people are seemingly so impatient these days, that the window for a reply seems to have shrunk to minutes.

Now this doesn't apply here. She knows me well and knows I'll be writing back. But what do you folks normally do? Do you send a "Stand by for Reply" message, similar in theory to a "SAVE THE DATE" notification?

Love to hear what you think...Thanks!

The Question is Right Here

Let's put aside partisan politics for a moment. Let's look at the State of the State of NJ.

The roads are in horrendous condition because there is no money for road maintenance.

Hospitals are closing because there is no money to subsidize them.

The government wants to revamp the entire State pension system, eliminate benefits for State employees because there is no money to fund this sort of stuff.

The educational system in in complete upheaval, teachers and administrators are being let go by the hundreds because there is no money to give to the schools.

Taxes continue to increase in this State where we are considering changing the name from "New Jersey" to "New Taxes". The burden on the taxpayers is at an all-time high.

No services, no hospitals, no highways... where, exactly, is all that money going?

Things to Remember

You will only be as great as you let yourself be.

Dilemma

Last night, I dreamt that I was standing in the kitchen talking to my kids. All of a sudden, the ceiling crashed down on me, along with thousands of gallons of water. The kids laughed at me!!!

So...

Should I punish them?

The Dumb

I really hate being one of those dumb people. I hate the fact that everyone has to tell me what to do, how to do it, or that I should or shouldn't do something.

My house is flooded thanks to the endless rains of the past 200 years. But see, all her friends told her that there's no way the house should be flooded because I have French drains and two sump pumps.

Now I can just ignore all that water. It just isn't supposed to be there. So I'll put away the boots, the hoses, the Shop Vac, etc and sit and watch TV the rest of the time. Isn't that great?

Yep, those friends who earn millions of dollars a year being Experts on Everything on Earth save me so much trouble. The same folks who told me I was way too young to have a cancer a few years ago saved me countless rounds of chemo. Who needs Doctors when I have EEE's.

Anyway, I'll be downstairs swimming in the mirage.

It's not really there.

I hate being dumb.

Lease?

What has happened to me over the last month is so cliché that I'm embarrassed to even write about it because I can't do it without sounding like a bad novelist. But I have to do it. I'll take the chance.

I have a new lease on life.

That does not mean that from this day on that I'm going to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. There isn't going to be some magical transformation into Pollyanna or something. I'm still me. Just different.

I almost died. That is not a statement I made of my own volition. I was told by a fully-qualified medical doctor that the person who brought me to the Emergency Room saved my life. I was officially stupid on Friday night, February 12th. On that night, I became one of those people who insisted I knew better, that I was in control of my senses. I was an idiot.

Thank God, she was not an idiot. The doctor told me that, with what I had wrong with me, I was lucky she won out, and I was lucky to be alive.

That's pretty strong language, right?

I don't much like the thought of being dead. I know I will be someday, but now would not be a good time. I have people who depend on me, who love me, who like me with air in my lungs and who are glad that I am on this side of the dirt.

I'm trying to be a little silly with this because otherwise it makes me want to cry. A doctor wouldn't say that if it weren't true. There was no audience. Only he and I were there.

I'm having those moments of cognition. I see my kids with clearer vision. And yeah, the food I'm able to eat tastes a little better. And the dog even gets a little more attention. The world isn't nearly as annoying lately.

I spent 8 days in a hospital bed, in a very good hospital. And anyone who is familiar with the way HMO's and insurance companies run the medical field these days knows that 8 days means I must have been really, really sick.

I was.

And I haven't smoked a single cigarette (though that wasn't the root of the problem) since that Friday. Almost a month.

So, I like things a little better these days. And I don't smell as badly as I must have when I was a human chimney.

I do still like boots though, so as I said, I'm still me.

I feel as though I was an episode of "House, MD". Not completely uncool.

And I feel as though my Blogging Muse has repossessed me.

Thanks for the time you spent reading this. I hope you'll be as glad I'm not a corpse as I am at the moment.

Some Things Never Change...

For about the past 10 years I have used Comcast as my service provider, and cannot say enough good things about it. I absolutely loved their services and would highly recommend them

During that time, I had a very fleeting relationship with another company, America Online. I never much went for them; their company treated clients as if it were doing them a favor by allowing them to pay for mediocre service with a terrible performance record. Their business became 100% focused on servicing their advertisers, often at the expense of the clients.

Well, as misfortune will have it, I am moving to an area that is not serviced by Comcast. It will be traumatic for me! Over the last two days I have investigated the possibility that AOL had actually progressed.

It has not. In fact, it's worse than ever. I tried sending an email through them. I got redirected to some "AOL Challenge Page" where I guess I had to prove I was a human or something. The funny thing is, AOL has all these "SPAM-blockers" in place, yet my AOL account continues to be the source of the most spam emails out of all of my accounts. Anyway, the challenge page did not load. I got an error page. I went to their Home page at AOL.com. That page is down. (How the hell does a company of that size allow its homepage to go down?)

Well, this is mostly meaningless venting. I cannot believe how backward AOL remains in this day and age, and needless to say I will not be employing that amateur shop as my ISP. I'm sure some kid with one server in his garage would be more reliable than this joke of a company.

I'm checking out Optimum Online now.

The Things...

After the next Academy Awards in March, we'll start seeing movies in contention for next year. I have not seen "Avatar" just yet, but I'd like to, because I'd be showing support for some quality filmmaking, as well as watching a good story. I saw "The Hurt Locker" and was definitely taken with it. Tough story, well done.

There are a few things I'd like to see changed in the movies going forward. Some tired, old items I could really do without, in theaters and TV.

Let's retire these things and see if we can keep the creativity flowing:

• Do we really need to have closeups of people drooling in their sleep?
• Stop with the ridiculous shots of guys in Speedos. It's been done to death
• Bodily-function humor. That stopped being funny in about the 3rd grade. Enough already
• Vomit. We get the point without sharing the whole experience

I'd like to see some scary movies that are actually scary, not just a compilation of cool special effects. Thrillers like "Silence of the Lambs" were such a great experience. Think about what goes into the story, not just how you can hang the ending in order to set up 300 sequels.

I know that my particular demographic isn't the most attractive to Hollywood, but there are some attempts in Hollywood to make a film like "Shutter Island" worthwhile for adults. I hope they can get a trend going: Well thought-out, written stories that are great from beginning to end. These kinds of films make for some great viewing.

I love movies, and have always considered them among my favorite pastime. I once was an avid collector of pop music, with a ridiculous amount of albums, tapes and CD's in my possession. I cannot remember the last time I bought a CD. I mostly pick and choose from single tracks on iTunes because I can't recall one entire CD I'd be enticed to own. I don't want this to be the case with films.

A Study...

I think there might be one study we haven't commissioned yet, but which might prove very valuable. There are people out there who see any and every situation as an opportunity to be offended, cause trouble, and just generally make life miserable. You know the type: they could make Disney World a sad place to be. Their sole purpose in life is stirring up trouble.

I'm thinking if we can identify this gene and neutralize it, we might all be a little better off, no?