Sometimes we only apologize to people when they confront us with the thing we did wrong. But sometimes, we really feel sorry the minute we do something wrong, only we don't have an opportunity to see the person we hurt, and then our apology might not seem sincere.
I have hurt people lately, and I know it. Only I really didn't mean to. I didn't want them to feel bad, or slighted. "I can't help it" or "it was out of my control" is just so weak.
The nice thing about a blog is, it's a way to timestamp what we were thinking or feeling the moment it happens. I want my friend to know that I'm sorry. I'll say so when I see my friend. But I want this as a permanent record that I really feel terrible about the kind of friend I've been. So after I make the proper apology, I might use refer to this in hopes of proving my sincerity.
I love her. I just do a lousy job of showing it sometimes.