Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Friends Who Fit

This is something I'd written before, and I was kinda proud of it, so I took the liberty of sharing it here...

Nancy, over at Notions Of Nancy, posted a great question in her Journal. It's something I occasionally think about when I try to get motivated to write. She wants to know how we define "friendship".

This is something I can pretty much answer on the fly. A true friend, in my opinion, is a relationship that has no strings. There are no precepts, no demands, there's pretty much no thinking. It's as natural a fit as the skin we're born into. It's a social situation that requires no conscious effort. It's the one thing in life that is truly a gift. It isn't made, it happens naturally.

A true friend is someone you don't have to dress up for...they see you in your pajamas and it makes no difference. You don't have to "try" as you do in a job, the things you do are instinctive - a reflex. They never ask, demand, everything just goes in succession. You never have to wonder if they'll enjoy sharing something with you, your gut tells you it's so. You're never, ever sorry to be in their presence. If you don't see them for months, you pick right up where you left off.

A friendship with someone like that is the refreshment you get when life leaves you thirsty. It rejuvenates your soul - it never saps your energy. It's the one time in your life when there is no work involved, much the way the effort that goes into a hobby is never "work". It's something you relish and cherish, and can never get enough of.

There are no conditions to a true friendship. It either fits, or it doesn't meet the definition. Conditions create obligations, obligations create imbalances, imbalances create resentments, resentments destroy true friendships.

A true friend never has to "lend support". Think about it: When a house is in danger of falling, it must be fostered up with external measures. A truly strong house has an unfailing foundation - a true friendship is support enough in itself.

True friends don't love you for all you do for them - they love you because you're alive, and in their lives. The rest just falls into line.

And it's a beautiful thing. Believe me. I have friendships like that.

Why don't you post your own opinion? Go visit Nancy and leave a link when you do.


  1. Yeah that was a good entry. I liked that one.

    And true friends, see me without makeup, and DON'T drop dead in fear lol


  2. Well done Lippy!

  3. true friends don't tell me how rotten I look when they stop over and I am in pj's hari sticking up and no bra

  4. I really, REALLY enjoyed your post! I don't have any close friends who fit your description, but I have some casual friends that actually do! Interesting, huh?

  5. It's true when one says they have more people that they're friendly with... rather than saying they're friends. I have a handful or true friends... and I cherish and hold them close to heart.

  6. Great post. Of course, that means we aren't true friends - yet. ;)

  7. Love this post Lippy!!
    You said it so well.


  8. Well said. I think we all need some more real friends.


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