Sunday, April 15, 2007

A Plan

So what's wrong with my idea?

I see this huge super-store down the highway a bit. (gives the story a rustic feel, ya know?) I go by there quite often. I receive their flyer in the mail weekly, and they have it all. You name it, they stock it. I figure, everything I need, or want is inside those four monster-sized walls.

But I don't want to pay for all that stuff, so I asked my friends.

What if I wait till the store closes. Then, when no one is watching, I could sneak in the one delivery door that no one seems to lock, or guard, and there's no security camera either. I could go in, without worrying about waiting in line with all the paying customers, don't need to be bothered with cashiers, credit cards, or any of that. I won't be greedy, I'll take just what I want and need, and maybe leave a little behind for the paying customers. I could even go into the grocery, eat what I want on-premises, go take advantage of what would be free eye-care products in the optometry section while I'm there. Why not?

And for protection purposes, I'll gather up a whole lot of other guys who feel the same way, and we'll all pile in when no one is looking. We'll try our best not to clean the place out, but no guarantees, ok? I figure it's like this: there will be so many of us, they'll figure there's no way to round us all up, so they'll just let it go. And when we all have our fill, maybe enough to take home and share with the families, we'll all split up and go back to where we came from. Think anyone will notice?

My friends looked at me like I was nuts. They couldn't believe I could cook up such an idea.

"Why?" I asked.

"It's illegal, you moron!"

Oh really?


  1. I just LOVE that one! Now I'm gonna hafta print that one off and take it to school with me to share with all my young "change the world" liberal classmates who just can't understand what's wrong with the whole thing!

  2. Anonymous10:18 AM

    I'm not really understanding this entry, Mr. J.

    Feeling silly? Or making a point?


  3. Just don't let us catch you on "America's Most Wanted".

  4. Congress already does this, several times a year. There's no more room at the trough...


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