Monday, June 09, 2008

Pop Update June 8th

We all envision things in our life going according to at least some sort of plan. And the best times in our lives seem to be when those plans are fulfilled.

My buddy went to his rest yesterday afternoon. And while this could hardly be viewed as a joyous event, it was at least a happy and peaceful resolution to his long struggle.

Pop died here at home yesterday, June 8th, 2008. It was somewhere around 3 PM. The two daughters who have been involved with him since the whole thing began were able to be here with him, as was I.

After returning home here Friday evening, I spent the last two nights in his room with him. Sleep was scarce during those hours as his condition seemed to deteriorate rapidly. Sunday afternoon he asked to use the bathroom. I realized just how much he'd declined as lifting him showed me just how much weight he'd lost. After he was done, I sat him on the bed and gave him a cold drink. As he drank that, I turned on the television and the Yankees' broadcast was on. Yankee ballgames were among the last of his life's pleasures that he still enjoyed. He looked for a minute and then asked to lie down. As I got him situated in the bed, he asked me to remove some pillows so that he could lie flat. I did, and he said that he was comfortable. I asked him if there was any pain, and remarkably, he said no.

Then something went wrong. I saw a marked change in his condition. I don't know what caused me to realize it, but I'm grateful. I was able to get his two daughters to the room in time. I told them that if they wanted to be there for the end, it might be time to come into the room. And there was no time to spare. As the three of us joined Pop at his bedside, he closed his eyes and took his last breath. It was very peaceful, and he did not appear to suffer at all.

So that was it. A very quiet ending to Pop's time here. We were concerned that the Hospice care people would come today and recommend he be cared for in an actual facility, which really wasn't what anyone wanted, but would accept. I think fate took its place here and put an end to the need for that kind of decision. So be it, and for the best. Pop is at peace now, and I believe his whole family can accept that it was time for the pain to end.

I don't think I could have asked for a better ending to the story.

Thank you all, so very much, for the kind words of support, friendship, caring and love. We're in a quiet holding pattern, as we have to make arrangements for his wake and funeral in another state. The kids are all here (Pop's grandchildren - my nieces) so we're all just taking time to relax and prepare.

As is the case with them, I wouldn't have wanted to do this without all of you. Thanks again, and see you soon.

42 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:04 PM

    Sorry for your loss. I am glad that he went peacefully. Good luck with all and you and the family are in my prayers.

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  2. Sherry5:06 PM

    I am praying for the pain the family now must go thru when losing a loved one, you are a wonderful person....... hugs, Sherry

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  3. Anonymous5:08 PM

    Sounds like it was a peaceful and beautiful death with his family there to lead him into the Heavenly Kingdom of God. God Bless you for being there for him throughout. You will be blessed!

    Sharlene

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  4. I'm glad his suffering has ended and he was surrounded by love. I'm sorry for you and your family's profound loss.

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  5. ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear Pop is gone hon. I truly believed he went the way he wanted, at home surrounded by family and loved. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers on the smoke during this time of sorrow. Wishing you strength and peace in the coming days. Your in my thoughts dear friend, always. (Hugs)Indigo

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  6. Anonymous5:32 PM

    Hi Jimmy:
    This is one of those times when you would really rather be doing anything but. I've been through it. I know what it feels like. My love to you and your family. And my prayers. I also wanted to tell you that you gave him a gift by being there not only all those months, but particularly at the end. As you said he is at peace now and the pain has past.
    Jude

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  7. Anonymous5:33 PM

    Jimmy I am so very sorry for your loss... but am greatful he went in peace and with you all close by. I wish I had magic words to give you comfort.. know I am sending good thoughts, prayers, and strength your way.
    hugs my friend
    d

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  8. Marty5:49 PM

    Hi Jimmy,
    I'm so sorry for the loss and my heart goes out to you and your family. Pop really was lucky to have you there for him. Your love for him really comes through in your previous posts ... Pop always seemed like a real "character" who lived life his own way. It sounds like he died in his own way, too ... with dignity, surrounded by loved ones.
    Best,
    Marty

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  9. Anonymous5:51 PM

    My deepest sympathies to you and your family. You truly did stick it out "til the end" with your Pop! Wow, not many people will hang with a person until the end.

    People ask what love is, they try to define it, but there are no words that suffice. Love is action; love is a verb. Love is finding new ways to cook someone's favorite food when they have little appetite for anything else. Love is watching a baseball game quietly together, when you might actually rather be doing something else. It is going to countless doctor appointments, in a torrential downpour, to get the best care for your loved one. Love is respecting a loved ones wishes for their health care even if you disagree with them. You loved your Pop, plain and simple. Love never dies. I have no doubt that you and Pop will one day be together at that Big Baseball Park in the sky.

    Jill

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  10. Oh Jimmy, this is one of those moments when I have no idea what the right words could possibly be. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Some of the most touching, sacred experiences I know of have occurred during the soft, quiet moments following the death of a loved one. I hope that your silent moments may be filled with loving memories, full hearts brimming with an inexplicable peace perhaps emanating from a vision of Pop being embraced on the other side by loving arms who have been longing to comfort him and ease his pain for a long, long time. This is my prayer.

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  11. Anonymous7:32 PM

    Jimmy,

    I think you will understand when I say that Pop had a good death. Some people would not get that. I am so grateful for Pop and for the rest of you that you were there for the end. The angels were all around and escorted his spirit to heaven, but trust me when I say that many remained behind to care for you, his loved ones. May you find comfort in the days ahead in th knowledge that you let Pop do it his way and with genuine loving and caring. Blessings to you all.
    Love,
    Melissa
    Lissamom2

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss, Jimmy.
    I am glad he was free of pain in the end & he was at peace.
    He was a very lucky man to have such a loving & caring family.
    {{{Jimmy}}}
    Keeping you & your family in my prayers~
    Marie

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  13. Pop was so lucky to have you and his sisters there by his side during his last moments on earth. I'm glad he went peacfully with no pain. Sending you loads of hugs right now.
    Missie

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  14. You have certainly done your part. God bless you all.

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  15. Jimmy, I'm sure you're feeling that mix of grief & relief. I am deeply sorry for your loss. It was so precious a gift for all of you to be there for Pop when he breathed his last breath. You were a fine son indeed - related by blood or not. xoxo

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  16. I am sorry for your loss, but am glad the whole thing was peaceful. I am very impressed with your attitude towards everything; you have the right outlook.

    May God bless you and your family at this time. You are in my prayers.(((((Hugs))))

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  17. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Jimmy, I am so sorry for your loss. He is at peace now, and hurts no more. You've been such a dedicated "son" for how long now? You and your family are in my prayers.
    xoxo ~Myra

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  18. How wonderful of you to be there with him, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are absolutely with you tonight.

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  19. Anonymous12:04 AM

    Bless you all during this time of transition..know he lives on, just not in this body..take care i send lots of love & hugz~kbear

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  20. Oh my dear precious Jimmy...
    I'm so sorry for your loss, the loss of your "buddy"...your Pop. It does something to a person when a parent dies. Its like losing a part of yourself, and it makes us think about our own mortality. I'm glad for that in a way, because it's a wake up call that we all need to spend more time with the ones we love.
    I love you dear friend. Always have...always will. You have been there for me through so much, and words can never describe what that means to me.
    You take your time to grieve. We will all be here when you return.
    I love you Jimmy...
    Connie

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  21. How precious that you were there for Pop until the very end. I was with my own dad when he passed away 8 years ago at just 62 years old. One would expect that it would be scary and frightful...but it was completely peaceful, like you said. You will remember your time with Pop FOREVER and he will always be a part of you.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family....

    ((hugs))
    Jeanne

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  22. Anonymous9:18 AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time. Sounds like he was peaceful and surrounded with love during his last journey.

    Julie

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  23. Oh, Jimmy, I'm so sorry to hear of this passing. I know you really loved and cared for your dad, so that is a testament to the kind of person you are. I know all I can do is say a little prayer for you and your family, so that's what I'll do. Please let us all know how you are doing too.....

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  24. Anonymous12:57 PM

    Jimmy, I am so very sorry for the loss of Pop. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Linda

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  25. Anonymous4:07 PM

    Lots of prayers , peace, and love your way. You know i'm here.ly Cass

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  26. Gaboatman9:01 PM

    Jimmy
    I am so sorry that Pop is no longer with us on Earth. Through your writing we all came to know him and I want to express to you and all of Pop's family my sincere condolences.

    Jimmy, you did right by Pop when Pop needed you most. This must be a hard time for you even though you know Pop is in a better place now and pain free.

    My prayers are for you and the family. Of course, I'll be saying a special little prayer for Pop, too.

    Sam

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  27. Jimmy, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I know we haven't talked much in quite a while, but it sounds to me like had some pretty similar situations surrounding out fathers passings. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family!

    ~stephanie~

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  28. Nancy7:31 PM

    I have been a lurker yet faithful reader of your blog for quite sometime now, but have never left a comment. However, this event in your life warrants one now. I am sorry for your loss... my prayers are with you and your family. May God grant you strength, comforty and peace.

    Nancy

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  29. Jimmy,
    I am so sorry to hear about Pop. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Thank you for sharing Pop with us and giving us all the opportunity to get to know him through your words and photos. I'm thankful his passing was peaceful and thankful he was surrounded by loved ones. You will be in my thoughts. Hugs, Martha

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  30. I am saying a prayer for him and the family. I'm glad that he went peacefully and that he had the ones who took care of him, loved him and who he loved, right by his side. So sorry for your loss.... (((HUGS)))

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  31. Sorry to hear that you've lost your friend, obviously, but there's a real sense of peace in the way you described it. I hope the funeral is a fitting goodbye full of good memories.

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  32. ((Hugs))
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and all the family. It's never easy losing a loved one. I'm just grateful his passing was peaceful and I'm glad you were there with him. You truly are a wonderful man and Pop was blessed to have you. And I'm sure you feel very blessed to have Pop in your life too. I know you'll see him again one day.

    Michele

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  33. I have no words except I am so sorry for your loss.

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  34. Glad that he went without pain and at home.

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  35. I'm so sorry I haven't been by the past week. Too much feeling sorry for myself I guess. I am sad that Pop has left your midst in body but he will be with you forever. I love you JP.

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  36. Tiffany3:17 PM

    I've been a bad reader lately, and just now had time to catch up. I'm sorry to hear this news as I'm catching up. I'm sure Pop is at peace now, and I hope your family can come to terms with his loss. :( I'm sure it was a hard evening, but it sounds like everything happened peacefully for him. I bet he wouldn't have had it any other way.

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  37. Sorry I am late with condolences. I just got back in town. I glad that ya'll were there for him and for yourselves. He was so very lucky to have you in his life Jimmy. God Bless.......Anne

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  38. Jimmy I am so late with this and I hope you'll accept my apologies. My heart is with you and Pop's daughter's and the rest of the family and friends who loved him as you grieve his loss.

    You sir, are a wonderful man, and very giving to say the least. You're in my prayers.

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  39. I'm so glad you were there with him. It sounds like he went so peacefully. I hope you are doing okay. You are in my prayers.

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  40. Oh Jimmy... I'm so sorry I missed this post. I'm so so so so sorry it took me this long to comment.

    And, I am so glad you got to be with Pop. I didn't get to be there when my grandpa finally passed and part of me always regrets it.

    You did so good for him Jimmy, you really did. I think everyone that has followed this can agree with me when I say you need to be proud of yourself.

    All my prayers for you and your family. I'm so thankful he was peaceful. God bless him.

    ~Lily

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  41. I know I sent you a note when you first posted this. I hope time has been kind to you all in your grief.

    XX
    Love ya babe!!

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