Statistics

Once in a while, I try to touch on something at least remotely intelligent...

I learned that keeping statistics is a tricky science. One teacher I had explained it very nicely when she said that if you took a group of 100 people, and by chance, they all happened to be left-handed, you could erroneously conclude that 100 percent of the population is left handed. You have to work harder to get a good statistical representation.

See, if you read me much, and you read what I write about the drivers in NJ, you could possibly deduce that every one who operates a motor vehicle in my lovely state is a complete moron. But despite that fact that 9 out of 10 NJ motorists I encounter happen to be moronic, that's just not a valid sample.

So what else could be concluded by those statistics?

Simple!

I'm a moron magnet.

People with half a brain just find me when we're behind the wheels of our respective motor vehicles at the same time.

Today, I drove home after dark. I was absolutely alone on one particular road, with not another car in sight. I approached an intersection and there was a car stopped on the street to my right. As I closed to within maybe 40 feet of the intersection, this guy decided to bolt out, and make a right turn directly in front of me. I had to brake quite hard. And then he proceeded to drive at least 10 mph below the speed limit. Now I know my headlights were on, and I don't drive an invisible car, so...

MORON!

A little later on, on a different road, I wound up behind a woman driving a large SUV. She came to almost a full stop at every green light. Then, the one light that was yellow, she blows through without so much as tapping the brake pedal. No explanation for this other than...

MORON!

And the last treat before I reached my own street was riding behind another superstar. At Street 1, he turned on his left turn signal, slowed, and then continued straight on. At Street 2, same thing. Left turn signal goes on, he slows, but continues straight. Street 3, he flips on the left signal, and makes a right... yeah, you guessed it:

MORON!

K., I refrain from swearing in here out of respect for ya, but I did say a bad word in the car. Sorry.

So remember this the next time someone quotes a statistic.