Friday, November 16, 2007

Out On The Town

Just some stuff that's been on my mind on the road...

I use the made-up term "foofy" a lot. It's my word for those over-the-top kinds of people and products, you know the type. You're really hungry, say, and you sit down to a restaurant meal, and it's one of those places that plops down really big plates with tiny portions of food in the middle, and then presents you with a huge bill. Foofy people wear things like $1000 cashmere socks. You get the idea.

I've been doing so much driving lately, in places I haven't really visited before. While you obviously can't know everything about a place simply by driving through it, you can bet your assessments aren't far off if you know what to look for.

Now aside from the countless McMansions that pop up on the landscape like so many photocopies, with lawns the size of Cleveland, there are some signs that you're in a foofy town. Foofy is Dunkin' Donuts is replaced by something like "Tad's Pasty Emporium". There's not an "Ace Hardware" within miles (what ever would we purchase there, Lovey?); gas stations take on such names as "Crescent Automotive and Fuel Center". (We'll not have any of those ExxonMobil rabscallions, darling!)

Foofy is citizens strolling "Main Street" instead of strip malls, browsing at baby "boutiques" and shops with such names as "Martha's Fine Antiques". Foofy is $300 "organic" shopping bags on the arm of every local Soccer Mom (must go "green", my Precious). Foofy means merely speaking the names "Walmart" or "Target" causing you to be branded a veritable social pariah.

Foofy would never tolerate an eatery called a "Shack" unless the menu features such things as chocolate-covered escargot during the US Open, because then it's trendy, My Sweet. Foofy towns don't require "Convenience Stores" (the Help takes care of that, Bluebell). You can almost smell the fine Corinthian leather, Butterfly, as you cruise among automobiles whose collective value rivals the Gross National Product.

The closest thing you'll find to BBQ here, Muffy, is "finely grilled Tilapia". But don't worry too much about Foofy places like this, my Shiny Brass Monkey. Most of us won't spend much time here.

Our kind isn't welcome, Cookiepuss.


  1. I've been to that town! The ones where the residents still look over dressed in their designer jeans. The women with perfectly done make up and nails at 8 am... I hate that place!

  2. Anonymous8:25 AM

    ROFL, Jimmy!! That is exactly why I moved to where I live now. I like your word, foofy. It is a perfect fit!
    Jackie aka Bamawmn

  3. Anonymous1:50 PM

    foofy lippo youre funny
    thats what i felt like driving thru hollywood in a beat up sebring when we went car shopping.
    and of course im taking pictures out the window LOL
    gotta love the world

  4. Anonymous2:15 PM


    foofy,foofoo, whatever--those [women] people make me crazy. my personal faves are 0500 crowd, out running with their personal trainers in the predawn light.



  5. Ah yes, the infamous "foo-foo-fools". That, my friend, is one big reason I'm high tailing it out of Long Island.

    PS. Miss ya

  6. People such as these, tend to not only be high maintenance, but rude, obnoxious and unpleasant as all get out to be around. I wouldn't last a moment in one of these places. For one I would be inquiring if they would give up the latest pair of $300 dollar shoes, to donate to a woman's shelter or animal cause. Oh the horror , they didn't know that everyone isn't as fortunate as they are. Liar's they ignore those below them. Sorry hon....I don't especially care for foofy people. (Hugs) Indigo

  7. Anonymous10:09 AM

    Makes me real glad that I live where I do.. Although, there are surrounding towns just like that within 10 minutes from here. You can just smell the "foof" in the air... BLECH..


  8. Well, I think you just made the word "foofy" into the dictionary. Great word, for a great meaning!

  9. Hey, you moved sites or something. I just happened to think of you a while ago and realized I hadn't had any bloglines updates. Glad I found you again.

  10. Anne/ksquester11:49 PM

    Arizona (Snottsdale) can be kindda foofy. I figure God put me there for balance. I find these people amusing......

  11. Anonymous8:09 AM

    my kids call fart foofies heehee netti

  12. Anonymous8:12 AM

    LOL...I live just outside the town limits of a foofy place. they call themselves, "the community of excellence". There isn't a McD's within the town limits. Their farmers market, well, as you can guess, claims to be all organic stuff. Well, imagine whats coming to town?? A WalMart!! Heavens to Betsy...
    xoxo ~Myra

  13. Oh my Jimmy! I'm giggling tears here! I SOOO live in that city! We call it "The Bubble"'s actually a wonderful little burb to raise a family...but there is so much of that include designer golf carts (right along side the latest fav...high hitched red-mobile golf carts...oy vay...). Ummm...confession...I myself AM two of those things...a soccer mom...and a pseudo tree hugger type mom...I don't use plastic (hence, the "Gone Green" bags I use to shop with). But only because I TRULY worry about our choices! Heck...I've done thayt for years...before it was in! Thanks for the giggles. ;) C.


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