Unfortunately, one of the by-products of a change in the home environment seems to be a disruptions in routines. With the addition of Pop to the household, things got a little out of sorts.
Kids are affected by changes in routine, and there are usually two schools of thought when kids misbehave. One is that there is a cry for attention, and the other is that kids are typically going to take the path of least resistance and are clever enough to know when they can take advantage of a situation.
We're in a little slump with the schoolwork, it seems. My 12 year old son was awarded a detention for missing homework. I discovered that the detention isn't punishment for missing one homework, but for failing to hand in five. My 8 year old daughter decided that the class project wasn't something she felt like doing.
So last night, the Shakedown went into effect. Kids were seated comfortably at the dining-room table with Daddy's full attention. Assignment pads were checked off against work completed, and Playtime was eliminated in order to use the time to make up missed work.
As I said, the routine was disrupted a little with the addition of Pop to the household, but it could hardly be classified as a traumatic event, trust me. We slipped up on parental supervision and discipline, they slipped up on doing what they are supposed to. Like I said, path of least resistance. It's in the process of being fixed. We're not quite ready for Dr. Phil.
I like a household where the adults are in charge.
I agree, I like when adults are in charge too.......Sometimes, these clever little tykes let us believe we really are!
ReplyDeleteÜ
Marie
Can't help but wonder if this is related at all to your entry about hating it whenever your kids are hurting. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not "traumatic" having Pop live there...but they must know (or think) that they are going to be losing him soon. That's not easy for anyone.
Not an excuse for their school stuff, just maybe a partial explanation.
Nance
You have to keep your eye on them at all times, everyone knows a opening when they see and children are quick to grab it, LOL. I like adults in charge also.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I too like a household where the adults are in charge. In fact, I like a school where the adults are in charge.
ReplyDeleteMust be my age or I'm still a parent.
Good for you taking charge and not letting them have free reign - kids need limits and boundaries and expectations and accountability.
ReplyDeleteBuckle your seatbeat, it's going to be a bumpy ride. Kids really want an adult in charge as much as they may protest. Anne
ReplyDelete(((Jimmy!))) So tickled to see you...through another fan. Hope you've been well. Oh no...the dreaded "12"...I have one too...detention(s)...yes...plural...forgotten homework...you name it. I feel for you. Parents are supposed to be in charge? Really? ;) C.
ReplyDeleteBoy, can I relate to that. We are having that problem with my neice right now. The homework thing. She tries to blame it on her grandpa's death, but that's getting old. It's been 8 months since he passed, and she is going to have to come up with something new. The old sitting around the table intervention seems to work sometimes. We've also had to take away many of her playthings.
ReplyDeleteOh yes.. it can get out of hand, and if you give them an inch..they will take that mile everytime!
I love it. Can you be the parent of some of my students? They need some major discipline and the biological ones aren't giving it.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a mom in my study skills classes. I grill them everyday about where their homework is, why it isn't turned in, and what they're going to do about it. Kids need expectations and someone who will hold them accountable.
Keep up the good work jimmy.
(btw--I'm totally picturing you with a clipboard walking around your table, keeping the kids on task; Awesome).
I'm sure it's a little of it all, Jimmy. The disruption, the lack of attention, plus knowing Pop isn't well. Baby probably didn't want to interupt because she knows you are busy. Boys? Who knows?
ReplyDeleteJackie aka Bamawmn
Kids will definitely do as little as they can get away with when they think you're not watching. Hey, didn't we do that?? Kids need parents first and foremost, setting guidelines, rules. Not to say you can't bend...but there has to be structure. Heck, even we like structure.
ReplyDeletexoxo ~Myra
Hi Jimmy!
ReplyDeleteYou hit parenting on the nose in your first paragraph. If they think they can get away with something, you better believe they'll try it. It's 18 to 22 years to proving to them that you're the adult and that you expect specific behavior from them. Good work, DAD. Good DAD!
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay
After reading my comment and reading the other comments, something else occurred to me. With children who are having a difficult time because of worries, it is very important to maintain structure. It's something they can count on and can find comfort in. That's not saying that when Pop does pass, that they do their homework when everyone else is mourning. It is just enough to say that until that time, they need to know that they are loved and cared for, and that they should worry about very little at this time. Still, good work, DAD.
ReplyDeleteJude
I think that when things go wrong with kids people are real eager to jump up and say it's the schools fault, the friends fault, etc...I think if more parents took an interest in their children and worked to help make their children better people kids would turn out better.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't have kids. But I was one once. My mom always saw that I got my homework done and she would read to us. I turned out pretty good -- if I do say so myself. LOL