Comment Commentary 2

I love when I hit the "message boards" or "forums" on the net. Typically, you'll have an article, and then the invitation to add commentary, opinion, etc. Usually, by the time you scan through to the last comment, the discussion has spiraled downward to the point that the "commentary" has absolutely nothing to do with the original article.

Typically, you'll see visits from the following characters:

• Beautifully Unaware- this person has posted something, and you'd swear they meant to comment somewhere else, because there is nothing remotely connected to the content of the article in their comment. They should leave their address so that others can mail them a clue.
• Zealot- these folks are the best. They will introduce religion into any discussion there is on the web. Scan through forums and boards...you're guaranteed to find at least once. One major characteristic of the Zealot is that they usually post the most hateful drivel, all under the guise of religion.
• 28 Time Loser- 28 years to get out of grammar school, and they still can't compose a complete, grammatically correct sentence. Reading their comments can actually be painful to anyone with an IQ above 9
• Sorry Idiot- this type you just can't help. They make the most inane comments in that they either didn't read the article at all, or they left their mind in the previous century. For example: I once read a story by a woman who described waking up in her apartment, realizing it was on fire, and barely escaping with her life. She noted that she had to flee into the night, clad only in her flannel pajamas. The SI left the following comment: "Ooh, I love flannel pajamas". 'Nuff said.
• Lifer- no, not "Right To Lifer", LIFER. I call them that because there are millions and millions of 'em out there. Go to any message board and scan the comments. You will find at least one instance of someone telling anyone who doesn't agree with his point of view to "get a life". They write it, sign off, and go eat Twinkies.

and of course, no discussion would be complete without mentioning The Pontificator.

• This person scans the responses of others, looking for even the most mundane error, so that they can jump all over someone else's mistake, and drone on and on, just because they happened to catch the right information on Entertainment Tonight. OK so you're an expert on Angelina Jolie's eating habits. Pin a medal on your ass and shaddap.

Oh and speaking of painful... I found this gem of a comment tonight. Read it and weep

man shit dis is bull shit u know kevin needs to try to work it out wit his baby mom. britney is a cool gurl u know kevin ani't shit of coures he made her happy for a good min but then he got into the fame and stop bein a farther to his kids i know someone not to say names (kevin ) said dat his dad was never around and he won'ts to be a good farther. bull shit wat the fuck is he doin wit his kids they are going to grow up wit out a dad just like he did. look how he turn out u get my point right they need to put aside there diff and both need to work it out. i said both no shit work it out. brit your my gurl i love u but just think how it would be wit out your dad around. u hate it right u a good gurl just u need puttin kevin in his place and beat the hell out of him im tellin u one good hit he stop doin wat he is doin know u. listen gurl just do your thing and take care of the kids love u gurl just do u ok.