Thursday, October 04, 2007

Temporary Respite

I've been able to get a few minutes to get online and update today. It's strange how much time you spend waiting when dealing with medical situations. You spend time in waiting rooms, which are a lot better than they used to be. The furniture is a lot more comfortable, they provide television, and in some cases, refreshments.

But I spent a lot of time just sitting, reading, watching news lately. Being a captive audience limits your options, so you make the best of it. What that allows you to do is sit back, take a good look at things, and think. Sometimes thinking is good, sometimes not-so-much. But these situations allow you to take a fly-on-the-wall approach to things, as you're sort of "out" of the rat race a little.

Reflecting on things lately lead me to a lot of conclusions. I'm not going to blast them all out in one entry, but as I get time, I'd like to throw them out there, and see what you think, ok?


I'm just making a note here. I'm taking care of my Father-in-Law, Former Father-In-Law, Ex-Father-In-Law. I'm getting a little bit grumpy with people being so damn literal with every word you write. I've known this man since I was a boy. He is family. My marital situation has nothing to do with my relationship to the man. He's someone who's been very good to me in my life, he's in need, I can provide help and comfort to him, so here I am.

But to avoid questions like "Why are you taking care of your Ex-Father-In-Law?", I'm just going to refer to him as "Pop", and leave the rest to their imaginations, ok?

So, Pop is comfortable these last few days. There are a lot of secondary problems that sprout up, but there's no need to describe those. The man needs someone to take care of those things too. Hospice care is being discussed very carefully. Now that he is living down here, he doesn't want to go back to his doctor and hospital. We're looking into all the options. He is a Disabled Veteran, so we're using the Veteran's Administration (VA) Hospital system. Anyone who is familiar with the Walter Reed Hospital situation recently, knows that this is a decision that you can't make lightly, or without a lot of vigilance. I'm not committing Pop to a place where he could be neglected or abused, so the investigation goes on.

But for now, he's comfortable, he's resting, and he's content. He's a big baseball fan, and TBS network is giving him 8+hours a day to watch games the next few days. Let's all pray that all the playoffs go the full distance. He feels like himself a little more when there are games on.

So, thanks for the time if you came here to read. My updates might be a little more frequent, and I'd love to get back to spending time at your blogs as well. See ya soon.


  1. Anonymous3:05 PM

    Yea the news here not so good. cops called me again today. im going to need you when im a witness on this murder trial, its going to be harsh. i thought life was calming down, this week...not so much. Love you!Cass

  2. I am so glad he is at least comfortable right now. I'm sure a lot of that is because you're taking such great care of him ;-)

  3. Anonymous5:11 PM

    Good to hear from you Jimmy and so glad to hear Pop is comfortable. Sure do miss you around J-Land. You, Pop and family will remain in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Martha

  4. Jimmy, You are a jewel amoung Jims! I hope you got my email about palliative care. You and "Pop" are in my thoughts and prayers. Anne

  5. Anonymous5:17 PM

    Some relationships in life simply need no labels or definitions. Some people are simply a part of us for life, no matter the paths we choose.

    YOU are a comfort to him, Jimmy. Of that I am sure.

    ::sending strength::


  6. So glad you're 'up and running' again. I was worried about you. Like I've said before, your 'pop' is very lucky to have you.

    Too bad you can't take a laptop to the hospital....

  7. You don't have to justify Pop's presence in your life and the great work you are doing, caring, to us. We just accept himas important to you, end of story. TO those who questioned your reasons: Take a long walk off a short pier!

  8. Anonymous6:46 PM

    I'm happy that Pop has a good buddy like you, Jimmy. I knew you had a good relationship with him from your previous entry. I am also glad to hear from you. It's hard making all those medical/health decisions. Been there, done that.
    Love ya!
    Jackie aka BamaWmn

  9. Anonymous8:12 PM

    It's tough to be a caregiver. Be sure to take care of yourself as well.

  10. Anonymous9:27 PM

    I truly admire you desire to care for Pop. Why should it matter to anyone why you are taking care of him?? Just being a person in need should be reason enough, the affiliation doesn't even enter the equation! You are an example of consideration, kindness, and love ... I can surely learn some lessons from you. Take care...
    xoxo ~Myra

  11. Anonymous9:36 PM

    God bless you and also my Danny would have done the same thing...I am praying for "Pop".
    love ya,

  12. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Jimmy... it's no ones business why or what... I think it's wonderful that you are there from Pop and I know he is glad too!! Sending hugs and prayers..

  13. Glad to hear he's comfortable. I can imagine how baseball is making his days. I get like that seeing a rerun of Friends. ;)

  14. Your Pops is lucky to have you - way to be there and show your love for him. All the best to you both...

  15. Anonymous11:46 AM

    I would do the same thing with an x too so I am glad your spending time with Pops. Glad your looking carefully at all the options and I hope all his favorite teams win all their games.


  16. I was having a conversation with my sister yesterday where she said she'd been accused of having "mean world" syndrome. I agree, I think this world is mean.

    It's people like you and stories like this that renew my faith in humanity.

    You're an inspiration.

    Hang in there.

  17. Anonymous12:51 PM

    What baseball team does Pop like?

    My Cardinals are out of it so i'm only gonna watch if the Phillies or the Cubs are in it. We know a popular Phillies player personally and i always like to root for the underdog (Cubs).
    Am i crazy??

    ~Terry Ü

  18. Tiffany S.1:45 PM

    You know I don't understand why anyone would ask you why you're caring for Pop. When I first read that you were caring for him, I just thought to myself "What a wonderful man to still have it in his heart to think that much of his ex-wife's father to take care of him in his time of need." And that was it. I never questioned it. I know some people completely stop talking to all of their ex's family when a divorce occurs. You're standing out among that crowd now. I hope Pop enjoys his baseball games, I'm sure he really enjoys you being there for him right now.

  19. That thought never entered my mind. You have a loving bond with him and it goes beyond any old ex factor! I think what you are doing is a beautiful thing, Jimmy! I would do the same for my ex in laws in a heartbeat!

  20. Anonymous10:08 PM

    People we love are people we love regardless of the label society gives them. I hope Pop has many more good days. Caregiving can be hard on the soul, take care of yourself too. Peace out.

  21. Well, I just can't imagine someone questioning your relationship w/Pop. For heaven's sake, that's just ridiculous.

    Its wonderful what you're doing, Jimmy. It is making all the difference in the world to the quality of Pop's life.

  22. I have been I am catching up!
    Glad to hear he is comfortable...
    and you dear friend?
    Thinking of you often!


  23. I'm so glad Pop has you to watch out for him Jimmy. It's nobody's business why you still care for him and try to see that he's getting the best care possible. Knowing what a kind, caring person you are it doesn'tsurprise me in the least that you're there for him. Jeannette xx


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