The Accent Primer

I've had a few conversations recently with people who are not from my area. They've all commented or questioned about the accent that is native to the NY Tri-state area, particularly NY City and Jersey.
While I've got to great pains to soften my own accent, it's comparable to riding a bike: you never really forget how. Some people like it, others despise it. I like to focus on the people who like it, or find it amusing, rather than those whose bones turn to dust upon hearing us speak.
So, for those who might be interested in learning a little about our speech patterns, I thought I'd post some "how to's". (Hey, they always tell you to write about what you know) and give you some lessons on how to sound like us.
Just a note, it's not pretty, by any means.

To start us off, I thought I would go with our version of the popular greeting: "Hello, how are you today?"

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And just to get it over with, the one that everyone wants to hear:

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One of our most common traits here in these parts is our love for food, sitting down to a nice big meal with friends or family. Food is on our mind quite often, as we have some of the best restaurants in the world here in our region, and the cultural diversity here lends itself to some great eating experiences.

We love to eat, and we love to make sure our friends and loved ones are well taken care of. It's not uncommon to hear something along the lines of these:

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I believe that's enough to get us started today. I do take translation requests, if you'd like to hear and learn our language! Be sure to practice now, they're on the test.