FATHER's Day

Hi there.

I like to think I'm rather progressive. I gave up Caveman Machismo years and years ago. Really. Taking care of 3 kids on your own can do that to you.

You know how it's kind of an "unwritten rule" that hubby never buy an appliance for the Mrs. on holidays or birthdays? Well, I'd like to add a "NOT to-do" to the equation for the Hubbies out there.

Ladies, we really don't mind doing our share of the household jobs. (at least not to your faces) We've accepted the changing roles as well as the ones that have been modified. For some guys, (like yours truly) the jobs have become part of our daily lives, because if we don't do them, they're not gonna get done, right? Face it, if kiddo needs 2 dozen cupcakes for the class party, we either step up to the plate or take our chances with the Fire Marshal.

But there needs to be one little itty-bitty line drawn here. I was listening to the local newsradio station, and one of the segments featured gift ideas for Father's Day. The list went something like this:

• Organize a fishing trip for him. Yay.


• Maybe season tickets to some sports team? Yayy


• A masculine-looking diaper bag.

(insert sound of screeching brakes here)

Please. Please please pretty please...no diaper bags for Daddy's big day, ok? There is no such thing as a masculine dress, (keep the kilts comments to a minimum please?) and no matter what, you're not gonna butch-up a diaper bag. We've already resigned ourselves to the pink flowery shoulder bags, or the ones with all the pretty little teddy bears emblazoned all over it. We've accepted that fate much the way we have learned to live with the occasional root canal. It's a necessary evil. Hey, sometimes it can even give a start to a friendship ("ha, your wife makes you take that bag out too, huh?)

But please. You know how you'd feel if you got a vacuum cleaner on Valentine's Day? Hold that thought, apply it to Father's Day, and please, don't be tempted.

Some of you might say, "Hey, my guy got one and he loved it!"

No. He didn't. He pretended to, or maybe you've given him so many lousy gifts in the past that this time it was more a case of "well, this ain't so bad!" That's relief, not joy.

OK. Season tickets are way up on the list, but they might be a bit pricey. However, that is not a good enough excuse to hit him with a diaper bag. He'd rather have a tie. Or socks.

Trust me.