I get this urge to write "recaps" now and then, because nothing contained within is worthy of its own entry. So it's more fun to smash 'em all together into one pile of dummage.
"Edgy" Lady and I agreed that "edgy" doesn't work for me. I'm too Stupid to be edgy.
Luckily, the dog's teeth sank into one of my Forrest Gump leg braces, so he got the wrong end of that deal. The brace is fine. Good workmanship. The lady yelled at ME for "startling her dog". Now I'm no Zac Efron, but I didn't think I was so ugly that I'd make a dog want to bite me. Now I have to re-think that theory. I was a little mad that the lady blamed me for her dog biting me. Good hard bite, too. The dog was an English Bull Terrier, which Budweiser once used as Spuds McKenzie. But they have a hard bite. Oh well, no harm, no foul. And no Milkbone for that little $#@$#@$. The store lady asked me if I wanted help. I thought she meant finding my dog food. I'm not bright.
Which reminds me of Thursday. I was putting a luggage carrier on the car of an elderly neighbor and it wasn't easy. Then I got hit with a rock. I turned, ready to fight someone, and I see a little girl standing there laughing. This is the second time in my life I got attacked by a girl 1/10th my size, with a rock. And she had another one ready to fly. I'm 6'4, 230 pounds, and I was again at the mercy of a 5 year old girl, and no parent in sight. I talked her out of any more target practice.
I offered the following as suggestions for Vanity Plates to the Motor Vehicle Commission:
They didn't take me up on them. Now I'll probably get a lot of tickets, too.
TIP OF THE DAY:
When making Jello, follow the damned instructions, unlike me. If you make it wrong, you get a big bowl of red water that doesn't get hard unless you freeze it, but then it's just ice. And who wants that? Oh, and no one will buy your BS that it's gazpacho, either.
My friends informed me today that they've decided I give the world's best foot massages. Yeah, terrific. What a talent. Normally I don't mind a compliment of any sort, but this kinda ties in to the whole "The reward for good work is always more work." thing. Lucky me.
Oh and, although we are a carbon-based life form, we cannot survive by eating coal. It just makes you break your teeth, and you can't digest it, anyway. I only mention it because I left my grilled cheese sandwich on the stove too long today. Now despite being raised with the whole "waste not, want not" ideology, you just cannot make any nutritional use of anything that hard and burnt. Just wait a couple of minutes before picking it up to throw it away. Hardness does not reduce temperature.
I'm just full of sage advice tonight, huh?