Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Body Wars














I've been doing a pretty thorough job of destroying
my own body, but I do manage to get some outside help. Yesterday, I was
boiling some water for spaghetti. Pop reached into the stove area for something
or other, and knocked the pot over. I have a few blisters, but for the most
part, let's just say we got lucky.
I remember living in NY City, and lying in bed at night.
There were times where it was actually quiet, but occasionally, out of the
blue, you'd hear this horrific sounds as two or three alley cats would decide
to brawl. It was often the suddenness of the outbreak that would startle
you. Well my oldest girl and her Mom get into it in a similar fashion -
out of the blue, WAR! And my daughter has developed this advanced weapon:
she can pitch her voice in such a way that not only does it de-calcify my
spine, it dissolves all the connective tissue in my body so that I wind
up a quivering blob on the floor in some room.

My mouth isn't safe, either. I remember as a kid, my Mom would make homemade
soups. I hated them all! Not because they weren't delicious or anything,
it's because you know when you're a kid, you don't want to wait for anything.
THESE SOUPS NEVER COOLED OFF! And that meant that quite often, hot soup
met young palate and that meant owwie.


Last night, I got the inspiration to create a large pot of homemade chicken
soup Now, being so meticulous, I turned the pot off and left it on the
stove a while to cool before putting it in the fridge. About a half-hour
later, I went to the kitchen. I lifted the lid, took a spoonful to sample
my work.


Owiee.


A half-hour, and this soup IS STILL THERMO-NUCLEAR.


Some power company has to look into chicken soup as a source of permanent
heat. Kinda like the sun.


Owiee.


It's a wonder I'm still alive.

9 comments:

  1. Oh no...more...he's got more...! Can't... Breath... Thanks for the giggles. ;) C.

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  2. Ahh the high pitched teenaged shriek. I know it well. I grew up in a house full of girls who could crack glass when things didn't go their way. We still look at my dad and shake our heads. Poor guy.

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  3. My mom was making spaghetti sauce; she turned around and, whoops, there was my little bro. It poured down his chest and scalded his skin. 2nd degree burns (or was it first?). He was was the accident-prone one in our family.

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  4. Ouch!
    I'm sorry to hear that...it hurts thinking about it. And like you need anymore help in the accident department....soooo sorry about that.
    I'm the one in our family that drops things or trips...no broken bones or major injuries-yet!
    Hope your okay!

    Michele

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  5. Oh yes, pizza is kinda like soup. Definite burn potential there.
    Sorry about your boo boos

    Nance

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  6. Anonymous8:23 AM

    Hope your blisters pop,
    Hope your soup gets cool,
    Hope your girl's screams stop,
    Hope your body is no fool.

    Jackie aka Bamawmn

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  7. Anonymous1:00 PM

    I'm sorry you we scalded a bit, Jimmy. :o( I did the same thing to my mom when I was little... I walked up behind her with a pot filled with boiling soup (I wanted to show her how it turns white when it reaches a certain temperature!) and she turned around into it.. I haven't heard anyone scream like that since.

    I myself LOVE hot soup... Hotter the better, really. I figure I need all the help I can get in the hot category!

    Hope your blisters heal soon! Chelle

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  8. My mother accuses me of having that pitch. I really don't think I get that high pitched.... but I discovered it works GREAT to get Will's attention on the phone. (Me:"WILL!" ::crashing sound of the phone hitting the floor:: Him:"OW, god... ::shuffle of phone being picked back up:: WHAT???" Me:"You weren't listening, sweety..." lol)

    And I used to know this guy that always wore a hat because he pulled a pot of boiling water off onto his head when he was about 2-3 yrs old. He hated his scars. I found them interesting lol But I'm the type that's also very proud of my scars. (That happened and I lived, kinda thing I guess.)

    ~Lily

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  9. I got pepperoni that was so hot, stuck to the roof of my mouth..... Pain? I had to peel it off with my fork!
    Gaz

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