Body Wars

I've been doing a pretty thorough job of destroying my own body, but I do manage to get some outside help. Yesterday, I was boiling some water for spaghetti. Pop reached into the stove area for something or other, and knocked the pot over. I have a few blisters, but for the most part, let's just say we got lucky.

I remember living in NY City, and lying in bed at night. There were times where it was actually quiet, but occasionally, out of the blue, you'd hear this horrific sounds as two or three alley cats would decide to brawl. It was often the suddenness of the outbreak that would startle you. Well my oldest girl and her Mom get into it in a similar fashion - out of the blue, WAR! And my daughter has developed this advanced weapon: she can pitch her voice in such a way that not only does it de-calcify my spine, it dissolves all the connective tissue in my body so that I wind up a quivering blob on the floor in some room.

My mouth isn't safe, either. I remember as a kid, my Mom would make homemade soups. I hated them all! Not because they weren't delicious or anything, it's because you know when you're a kid, you don't want to wait for anything. THESE SOUPS NEVER COOLED OFF! And that meant that quite often, hot soup met young palate and that meant owwie. Last night, I got the inspiration to create a large pot of homemade chicken soup Now, being so meticulous, I turned the pot off and left it on the stove a while to cool before putting it in the fridge. About a half-hour later, I went to the kitchen. I lifted the lid, took a spoonful to sample my work. Owiee. A half-hour, and this soup IS STILL THERMO-NUCLEAR. Some power company has to look into chicken soup as a source of permanent heat. Kinda like the sun. Owiee.

It's a wonder I'm still alive.