Saturday, December 22, 2007


Good ways to screw up Improve your life

There aren't many sure things in life. Here are a few
that fit the bill

Get a DUI. Or for added fun, get a couple.

Have a baby when you're 16. A great way to stop yourself from
advancing, particulary in your education. That baby is a great way to
validate your existence.

Make a sex video, especially if you can do it with someone you've
been together with a long time, like, say, weeks.

And as far as the sex videos go, make sure a whole lot of people
know about it, and hey, share some copies. Friends would never take that
stuff public.

And if you don't have video equipment, hell, take some still-shots,
posing in the nude or something racy like that. Let a boyfriend you've
been with 3 or 4 days be the photographer!

Run for political office.

Trade all your self-respect and dignity in for a spot on a reality
show. Jerry Springer is a great springboard to the good life - or hey,
what about the great marriages spawned by The Bachelor!

vote for hillary clinton

Share the joy, don't be the only one whose life is improved:
refuse to provide any discipline, structure or value-system to your kids
(particularly if you have them when you're 12!) After all, the world is
here to cater to their every whim, and hard work is for suckers!

Ooh, and one more great tip: If you're battling legal issues,
get pregnant at the same time! That way you can give another life a great
head start!


  1. there is a family in our town that was on Jerry Springer....ick!

  2. Great tips jimmy....I'll keep those in mind ;-)

    Just goes to show we live in a sad, sad world.

  3. Anonymous1:26 PM

    Are the people on Jerry Springer seriously real or just acting? I always figured it was just an act so they could get 5 minutes of shame.

    Great tips ... I guess I'm a little old for a majority of them.


  4. Anonymous3:44 PM

    Why is it that those who will make the most inept parents seem to be THE most fertile????? Popping out kids left and right like gumballs.

  5. Gaboatman6:52 AM

    Oh, yeah, NOW you give me these tips. Where were you years ago when I could REALLY have screwed up (improved) my life? LMAO!

  6. Anonymous1:18 PM

    I can't beleive youv'e done all that Jimmy ;-)

  7. Anonymous12:39 AM

    Ive been looking to get my life back in order lippo


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