Saturday, January 10, 2009

Clarity 1992-1993

We encountered some major fertility issues that required medical assistance to resolve. It was a difficult time, as B. in particular, saw a life plan that included a bunch of kids. Her disappointment was more and more evident each month. We tried, but to no avail.

The Doctors discovered that there was a lot involved in our problems. To this day, I don't have a firm grasp on what each one was, I just know that it seemed as though fate was stacked against us in the kid department.

In order to first take care of my side of the equation, I was subjected to tests and procedures that were at once a bit painful and a lot humiliating. But we got things moving along. After nearly 6 years, we were able to see our first positive pregnancy test. I remember that night. She brought the test out to the bedroom. It was one of the only times in my adult life that I'd felt pure unbridled joy for someone. She was lit up and alive, and I was happy both for her and for me.

We celebrated the next evening with a nice, healthy dinner at a local place. We celebrated our new lifestyle, full of healthy meals, lots of water and me watching over her. It was the best night we'd had in so long.

But, as I mentioned before, fate seemed stacked against us. Within a few short days, it became evident that the pregnancy was running into complications. And, 2 weeks after we celebrated the new beginning, we were mourning our first loss as a couple. She'd lost the baby. Correction: we'd lost our child.


  1. Writing "I'm sorry" doesn't begin to cover it.

  2. Not that I've ever gone through something like this, but I've been told how devastating something like this always is. Sorry.

  3. I can't say I know how you feel I can only say how I felt and it wasn't good. I am sure even though so much time has passed it is still painful to talk about.

  4. My first marriage had several mis-carriages, it is difficult.

  5. I've been through a few dear friend, I know the heartbreak, how devasting it can be. I lost a son at my last one 8 years ago after 4 months. And that was the last chance for me. I have my daughter and that fills whatever need I had for my mothering instincts. I can't imagine going through so much, all the doctors, the test just to concieve. Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. (Hugs)Indigo

  6. I have helped a friend through this, many people think that men don't get upset about this sort of thing, but they do.

  7. I am so sorry. I always wonder what my child would have been like even years later. Hugs to you and your wife.

  8. How sad. It's devastating to lose a pregnancy, but to miscarry after hoping and waiting so long would be even worse. I'm glad that I've already read the next post and know that you got your beautiful little girl before too long.

  9. Oh, so very heartbreaking.

    I have suffered a miscarriage, but it was not as difficult because I had already been blessed with two children.


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