The Year End Approacheth

The Year in Review

Watching the news got much harder this year,
with so much to ponder, and so much to fear.

The media struggled to stay in the race
in a year where our VP shot his friend in the face.

Our President said that we must "stay the course",
but too many consider him the rear end of a horse.

A Congressman cybered, then decided to quit,
hiding behind the "I'm a victim" bullshit.

The Pope started trouble across the Mid-East
hinting that a Prophet was a nasty old beast.

The Mayor of New Orleans dropped a "Chocolate City" crack,
John Kerry botched "a joke" to get into the act.

George Allen said "macaca", a word you don't say,
and soon his new job hunt was well underway.

We saw big elections some won and some lost,
at a time when it's "Win, and to hell with the cost!"

Politics hogged up the limelight but then,
Our celebrities stepped to the plate once again!

TomKat got pregnant, and Britney, they said,
but none were too happy since the dad was K-Fed.

Star Jones got loud and wound up in the street,
They brought in O'Donnell to sit in her seat.

We watched Lindsay Lohan get closer to hell,
While Ripa and Aiken didn't get on so well.

It wasn't long before Rosie joined the fray,
and with a slip of the tongue, she outed poor Clay.

Marriages ended, and some not so nice:
Eminem called it quits after marrying twice,

Whitney and Bobby, Pam and the Kid,
Heather dumped Paul over things that he did.

But the best one the news folks got to announce
was when they told us that Britney gave K-Fed the bounce.

The big stars went wild, they gave us the works,
stepping out in the spotlight behaving like jerks.

DeVito, Mel Gibson, the fun never ends,
and then Paris and Britney became best of friends.

The two of them partied all week together,
Then Brit gave the world a peek at her nethers!

But not all the news was silly or fun,
like the loss of Steve Irwin, Australia's Favorite Son,

The death of some favorites, like old Jack Palance,
and James Brown, who gave us the right song & dance.

The news biz itself lost one of the best,
when classy Ed Bradley was laid to his rest.

But life will go on, and with it the news,
I'm sure we'll have lots of new poisons to choose.

The stars that we worship will all do their best,
to bring back that familiar pain to our chests.

We'll soon get more Chelsea now that Hillary will run,
(hey why should her husband have all of the fun?)

Yes, it won't be too long till we're in tabloid heaven,
God help us all in 2007!