The Day After

While I've always enjoyed Valentine's Day, the day after was always up there on my list as well. It was always fun to run into those people who had a good day together, hearing about all the smarmy romantic things that somebody's loved one did, and I have to admit that getting a few "aww's" from my friends for something I did was kind of nice too.

It's funny, my life is a little lacking in the romance department the last few years, but I don't react as I thought I would. I don't necessarily covet what others have, or begrudge those who have it. It's really nice seeing the look on the face of a happy person.

Believe me, I really miss intimacy, having someone lying close, listening to her breathing the kind of breath that only comes when she is sleeping; sharing a dinner from one plate, the silliness, those moments that require no words.

It's just not my time now, you know? The way life is these days just doesn't allow for it, and it would be selfish to be involved because I just don't have it to give right now.

But I wouldn't want anyone else to hide their joy from me out of feeling sorry for me or anything like that. I think there's so much bad stuff going on in the world that even though Valentine's might be over-commercialized, I don't think expressing one's love for another ever really qualifies as a bad thing, smarminess included.

I listen to a lot of what would be considered "pop". And while I most certainly don't want to be 19 or 20 again, the music of people that age is just ripe with the kind of emotion and expression that I don't think any of us should ever get tired of. There's just something about full-blown passion that lights me up, even if it isn't for me. I just like knowing my friends and loved ones are loved.

As I said, I do miss it. And I'd want another shot at it again some day when the time is right. I'd love to make someone happy, and I want to be that one that brings a smile to her face.

But until that time comes, thank you for sharing your happiness with me. This forum offers such a unique experience, peeking into the lives of others. It's a good way to reach out for support when times are tough, but it's also a great way to share the joy, and that's what I think I love most about it.

So, Happy Day-After Valentine's Day to all those who had a great one. And if you're in my situation, hang in there. I have to believe there are some good times out there for us too. It's all a matter of timing.