Moronism

You wait until you get home from the supermarket to inspect that carton of eggs, only to find you now have a dozen pre-scrambled eggs.

Makes you feel like a moron, right?

Like it or not, we all have a little bit of "moron" in us. It can't be helped - it just happens. We've all locked the keys in the car (me), or forgotten where we parked that car in a 10,000-car parking lot (me, regularly), or paid $2000 for Hannah Montana concert tickets (not me, not this time!). Moronism is everywhere, (just take a look around the next time you're driving on the highway) and it can't always be avoided. It's part of our nature. Some of us have a little extra share of moron going on, but those folks are typically holding a political office, or acting as CEO's of major corporations that lose countless billions on things like bad mortgages. We all make boo-boo's, and "moron" is the word you use insted of the one that will get your mouth washed out with soap. And like that other word, "moronism" happens, you know?

Sometimes though, moronism is a passive thing. Something happens that we have no control over. I stood at an ATM the other night, and after answering the 40-page questionnaire, I waited as the machine began the process of dispensing my cash. I waited, and waited. I could hear the machine whirring and whirling, and I figured one of two things was going to happen: 1) the machine was going to tell me it was out of order, or 2) I was about to receive $3 million in singles. I felt like a moron, but it really wasn't my fault, you know? (and the outcome was Number 1, I'm not a new millionaire)

• Note: moronism should not be confused with insanity. Moronism is wearing your shoes on the wrong feet three days in a row; insanity is repeatedly trying to get useful assistance from the Microsoft Help Website.

While people don't like to admit out loud that moronism is a lot more prevalent than we'd care to know, we do acknowledge its existence. It's why we have to post a speed limit of 40 mph so people will slow down to 90. Or why television advertisers have to flash that "Do not attempt this at home" warning when they have crazy stunts in their commercials.

We all have it in us, it's just a fact of life. So tonight, when you take off your shoes to see one yellow sock and one green one, remember...it may be moronic, but, you're not alone.