No, it's NOT funny. Well, depends...
Today three things happened. To me, you know what I mean. I got three things in the mail.
The first one was an invitation to my High School Reunion. I gotta be honest, I'm not in the mood to go traipsing around a bunch of ancient ruins, alright?
The next envelope contained a permanent Handicapped parking permit for my car. Imagine. They let me drive still.
Don't know how useful the permit is going to be around here; every single driver in NJ has a Handicapped permit. We fight over the "regular" people's spots instead.
The funny thing is, my "permanent" handicapped permit is only valid for three years. Maybe they think I'll get better by then. Or maybe they figure I'll die.
The third envelope contained a invitation for a free eye exam. Out of the blue, unsolicited, personally addressed to me. Or the current resident. That's really stupid, if you think about it, like those ads they mail you that say, "Learn To Read."
So yah, this was a great day for the ol' Ego. I get reminded how I'm part of Ancient History, that I'm a busted-down, broken old lunchbox, and that I'll soon need glasses. I can hear them now:
You're OLD Lippy. That dust on the floor around you is YOU.
A couple of years ago a friend told me that I'm technically old enough now that my death wouldn't be a tragedy anymore. (yeah that's why I blog a lot - my friends are the worst! Friends like that, who needs a plague, right?) I guess I can expect the birth of my first great-great-great grandchild soon, huh?
AH, it's alright. I don't mind being a fossil. Sometimes people don't realize that I'm being tongue-in-cheek when I write like this. Tongue-in-cheek is a pretty good accomplishment for me, considering I'm eligible for carbon-dating. But really, it's all good. I hear Moses is going to attend this year's reunion, and I'll be able to park really close if I get there 'cause it's somewhere else. And I'll just go to the eye exam to make the doctor cry. I'm a little nervous about wearing glasses though, because then I'll be able to read all the barf I type in here. Who knows what that will lead to.
If you aren't going to use that handicap sticker, can I have it? Parking sucks around here.
ReplyDeleteYou're not old.....you're just well seasoned. And be grateful for your sight. I got my first pair of glasses at the ripe old age of 26. Besides--contacts are always a solution.
Ohhh puuuhlease! You are so not old. Old is 110 yrs old. AND you, my friend, are not even close to that. How do I know? Because... I know! lol
ReplyDeleteYou are TOO funny! Thanks for the laugh again!
I guess the old adage, age is a state of mind isn't going to work here, is it? (winks) Us old farts , will have to keep ourselves out of trouble and amuse each other. (Hugs) Indigo
ReplyDeleteOoooh. I dread the day I get glasses. Some people look great in them: smart, sassy, and sharp.
ReplyDeleteI know I will just look DUMB.
But I'm sure you will look FABULOUS if you get them!
Well, Jimmy, I'm at the age that now I get weekly flyers advertising funeral homes. You still have a "few" good years left in you!
ReplyDeleteSharlene
Soon you'll learn as I did, "old" is always 20 years older than I currently am! Mail for eye exams is OK, it's the urinary incontinenace stuff that is depressing! hehehe ~Jill
ReplyDeleteWhen AARP starts harrassing you....then complain~
ReplyDeleteI think we are really close to the same age, Jimmy. I've never really considered age before, but, I will be 50 in just a little over a year. And THAT is making me sad!
ReplyDeleteOnce, I filled out one of those cards from Bel-Tone and put my mom's information on it. One day, while I'm visiting her she gets a phone call. By this time, I had almost forgotten I had done it, but she took one look at me and knew I had sent it in. LOLOLOL She was not exactly happy about it!
Jackie
Just don't forget to put the polygrip on your shopping list :-P
ReplyDeleteAt 46 I just had to start wearing reading glasses and I don't like it one bit. I don't think I like being a fossil, grrrr!
the lippy i know still has a lot of kick left in him!
ReplyDeleteyou are not old.
and you are not having a grandbaby anytime soon!
LOL
lylo
Hi Jimmy,
ReplyDeleteI'll be the high school reunion would be fun. Every time I run into "old" friends, I'm always shocked at just how "old" they look. Then, again, maybe they're thinking the same thing ...!
Best,
Marty
My 30 year High School reunion was this past year. I decided to pass on it.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you don't need reading glasses yet! I've had to wear them for 10 years!
BTW...you're not THAT old yet! LOL on the dust!
Pam
Nice portrait! Tee hee! ;)
ReplyDeleteI've attended every single one of my high school reunions and really enjoyed them! I never think it will matter much, seeing people from way back when, but It's always surprising how delighted I am to visit with old friends that I didn't even realize I missed! It's also fun looking at some people's name tags to try and figure out who in the world they might be! My 30th will be in 2010, and I WILL be there! (That is, if I haven't yet crumbled into a pile of dust!) ;)
I don't think I'll REALLY feel old for at least 20 more years...it's all in the brain, haha! :)
you old moses!!!! jk ur silly lippy, your lively still makes anyone young! lyy cass
ReplyDeleteHi Jimmy age is just a number I am sure you have lots of life left in you ~ and plenty of time to be a g.g.grandfather ~ you received some good mail there Jimmy enjoy your disabled parking badge ~ Ally x
ReplyDeleteYou aren't old...because if you are old...that means I am old!! And I am not havin' it...lol.
ReplyDeleteI have a handicapped sticker...and never realized till I had it how useful it could be.
My eye dr told me last week that at least I don't need bifocals. Yet. : (
My 25th reunion is this summer...there is NO way possible it has been that long!!
Have a great weekend!
Tracie
That reminds me, I need to get my protstate checked.
ReplyDeleteCarbon dating is only good for a few thousand years before it becomes ineffectual. I'm getting awfully close to that threshold. Okay, so about wearing glasses? I've always done that. I couldn't deal with wearing glasses with a line that goes through the middle of the lens. I bought two pairs at one of those buy one get one free sales. Only both pairs have different prescriptions. So vanity isn't really fed when I have to change glasses so I can read.
ReplyDeleteJude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay
HAHA you're OLD!!!
ReplyDelete::backs up slowly::
lol Seriously, you're not old. You're aged like a fine whine. Er, wine. And what about the fact that cheese is essentially moldy milk. That takes time. And cheese is great right? So you're just like, you know, moldy milk.
I made you feel better didn't I? lol
~Lily
At least you didn't get the AARP solicitation in the mail too!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya babe!
now all you need is aarp and your senior citizen discount card, lol *wink* netti
ReplyDeleteI've noticed newspapers and books are printed in such small print now, just to make me think I need glasses, there's nothing wrong with my eyes ~ if only they'd make the print four times as big! I got an invite to go to a senior citizens Christmas concert ~ I was 26yrs old at the time! Lol! Don't go to the reunion, you'll get depressed at how old your school pals are! Jeannette xx
ReplyDelete