Tuesday, February 12, 2008


When you become a full-fledged computer Geek, it means that you've come to grips with it, and you stop worrying who knows about your passion. You accept it. And Dr. Phil would be proud.

One trait that Geeks have, that a lot of people don't quite understand, is the desire to help non-Geeks with tech situations. Some might call it meddling. Whatever.

But we have to help. It's just in our nature. When we see someone struggling, or hear them describing a problem (yes, we eavesdrop at times, sadly - we just can't help it!) we stick our noses in. I don't know why, but we do.

Now when you're a Geek who also happens to be a male, that can be a problem. To illustrate:

I was in a situation recently. I was on a commute. There was a woman sitting next to me, working on a laptop. After a few minutes, it became obvious that she was having trouble. (the sighs and the mumbled swear words are always a good indicator). I was nosy, of course, and saw the program that she was having problems with. And I know the program.

But now the Geek brain is being overridden by the Male brain. I'm afraid to speak up because:

  • I'm a stranger

  • I'm a male, she's a female

  • She is an attractive woman

I know there's a good chance if I speak up, my good intentions might be misconstrued, and any guy, Geek or not, doesn't want to get yelled at for being rude by a woman.

That kind of comes from experience. Geeks are only suave and hot in the movies. Most of us are unhot. (invented word).

Well, her struggle was so bad, but so easily remedied that I took the chance that she would not mistake my service as a come-on. It's just silly.

I remember precisely what I said, too. "May I please be so rude as to stick my nose in here? I've had that problem before and know how to fix it."

Well, I guess that sentence sure sounded lame enough that I didn't present a threat of any kind. Lameness can come in handy too, you know. It worked out well, I fixed the problem, then showed her how to handle it herself in the future. And I didn't ask for her phone number. She said, "Thanks".

Since I can safely say that I know 99% of the women who read this dumb blog are attractive women, (I haven't seen the other 1% so don't yell at me!) I'd like to ask you if my nervous lame geek trepidations are correct. If some geek knew that you were having a problem with your computer, and knew how to fix it, would you be mad if he got involved. That would confirm that I just got lucky for not getting yelled at and told to mind my business.

Guys, you'll get your own question some other time, ok?


  1. This is a slightly sore subject with me because I can relate. For genuine niceness, I've been accused of being an ass-kisser, brown-noser and flirt. Usually I'm just being nice and trying not to descriminate. (if i'm flirting, they'll know it).
    So as a woman on the other side, I don't assume I'm being come onto...the guy is given the benefit of the doubt...and THAT sometimes is naive on my part.
    Ah...men and women...not an easy task my little geek.


  2. I wouldn't be offended or anything. There are often times in various situations where I just don't know how to deal with something and another does and I LOVE when they offer their services and leave it at that. I don't view men as "pigs" or anything else negative unless they actually personally show me they are one. I'm raising 2 little boys here and I can not stand when people (especially women) categorize men as something negative. Women are just as bad and guilty of the same things!!

    Ultimately you're a nice guy! :)

  3. Anonymous5:37 PM

    i wouldn't be offended at all...in fact, if it was that obvious i was stuck, i'd be thrilled the guy helped. you asked if you "could be rude...." i don't consider it rude at all....just the opposite :)

  4. I would welcome anyone's help. I would smother him with kisses of gratitude....Ü
    ok....maybe not that...Ü
    But.... I would tell him that I really appreciate his help.

    I think there is a 5% chance you will get a b*tch. Us 95% would welcome assistance. Now whats the odds??? hmmmmmm?

    Now when I ask you for help, would you think I was flirting with you?

  5. Everything, I mean (seriously) everything (did I emphasize that enough?), on my computer I taught myself. So if someone (geeky guy) were to come to my rescue and help me with something I was struggling with, I would consider him a friend for life.

    I can never retrieve the endless hours I've spent trying to learn some computer speak on my own. (Hugs) Indigo

  6. I agree with the other comments here -- what you did was just fine and very nice -- but you could have also asked her to go for coffee or something! Asking for her number would have been too forward and creepy although an email address might have been just right for this occasion.

  7. When I am having computer trouble any help is greatly appreciated. You did the right thing and I am sure you were just "geeky" enough to put her at ease but not "geeky" enough to creep her out.
    By the way...you would never be too geeky for me! :)
    Love ya babe!

  8. Anonymous11:04 PM

    Hi Jimmy,
    If I were having problems and I really was frustrated, I'd welcome the help of someone knowledgable. I like your line. It was very non-threatening and I'd be so happy to have my computer fixed.
    You're a good guy!
    Love ya,
    Pam xoxox

  9. Anonymous3:19 AM

    Darlin' at my age, I'm just happy if anybody volunteers to help me with anything. AND BTW..........I married a man who carried a slide rule in a leather case in his pocket and I was happy to see him. Anne

  10. Anonymous4:03 AM

    Haven't you heard..."geek is the new cool". Seriously...I have seen shows on it.


  11. I think that was very nice of you to offer help....I would not be offended at all, rather I would have been thrilled at having a computer guy sitting right next to me and able to help and think how lucky I was!

  12. It wouldn't bother me at all--I'd be grateful for the help.

  13. Let me just say I love Dr. Phil, haha! :D

    I am definitely a non-Geek, and I appreciate help that is offered out of kindness and consideration, with no strings attached. Your "lame" non-threatening question was perfect! :)

  14. Anonymous12:35 PM

    Omgosh! You can fix computers? Can you fix mine? You'd have to come to Missouri to fix it though and the weather really sucks.

    The lady next to you probably didnt think you were a geek. She probably went in to work or wherever she was going and told her friends about this really nice guy that helped her with her computer. She's probably going to look for you on her next commute!

    Have fun!
    ~Terry Ü

  15. Anonymous1:11 PM

    I must say, If I was having a problem with my laptop and some nice gentleman like yourself, asked if he could help, I would love it!! I like being the Damsel in distress! LOL

  16. Most girls love it when guys come to their rescue. I have a love/hate relationship with computers. If I'm having problems I feel like chucking my computer across the room. So anytime some 'computer geek' can save the day.....yipee!! I would also be flattered that someone cared enough to help me.

    Also? A lot of girls think computer savvy guys are hot. There's something sexy about a guy that knows his way around a computer really well.

  17. Guess you got the feedback you wanted huh? I don't have much to add.

    One of my favorite quotes is:
    "Never supress a generous thought" --Marjorie Pay Hinckley

    I guess if you have generous intentions and someone yells at you, then you can safely assume you aren't the one with the problem ;)

  18. Anonymous1:01 AM

    I pray for a geek when I am having computer problems but one rarely appears when I need it, I must be that 1%.


  19. Anonymous2:38 AM

    "unhot" LOL lippy

    im laughing to myself because i have my geek on a leash when something is messing up on the computer cuz i own him :)

    ms emily

  20. Anonymous12:15 PM

    Un Hottttttttt lol

    lyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy casssss

  21. I would have asked for YOUR phone number!
    It was so nice of you to offer and even teach her how to fix it.

  22. I don't think offering help is an issue. I do think you've forgotten the portion of the geek contingent who would be helping both to help and to score points. ;)

    You read xkcd, right? Geeky humour rocks and he's geekier than most.

  23. Anonymous1:36 PM

    I'd be thrilled and grateful if someone offered to help me! The world needs more helpful people! You did a good thing. :) ~Jill

  24. ROFLMAO....I think most WOMEN would not be offended....but, as you know Lippy....as a full fledged member of my HS A/V team who grew up to be the geek goddess (my boyfriend's nic name for me) I would like to know why so many MEN get down right annoyed with me when I fix their computers and then show them how to prevent it. Seriously, I could understand if I was fixing their car, a long time male territorial thing, but computer's came AFTER most men discovered women could actually think... I'm getting tired of walking them babystep by babystep to the correct solution and then making them think it was all their idea when I am the freaking geek here...LOL!!!!


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