Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Let's Get Stupid!

I know I'm not supposed to be "StupidJimmy" anymore, but...

The last few days have been chock full of stupid. It just sort of goes with the territory.

I had the rare opportunity to stop at my favorite diner for my favorite breakfast. Being that I was a little pressed for time, I ordered it to go. Swiss-cheese omelette, side of bacon, and french fries. (It's probably good that I don't get it too often, huh?) Anyway, when it was ready, they handed me the bag and I rushed home to eat it. I got home, opened the bag, opened the tray and WHAM! Blueberry pancakes, sausage and corn bread. I'd say that was close, right? I ate it anyway, but I still want that omelette.

My buddy indicated an interest in this season's American Idol show. I invited him over to watch it with me tonight.

It's on tomorrow, not tonight.

I played 20 dollars worth of MegaMillions lottery this past Friday. I didn't match a single number. On any of the tickets. I thought there was a prize for 0 numbers. There's not. They just call you a "loser".

But the piece de resistance came about 3 hours ago.

It was one of those days where ol' Lippy deemed it necessary to have that second shower. I was a tad grungy. The way it's worked out here, Pop and I share a bathroom, and his daughter and my kids battle it out for the other. Well tonight, it was just necessary for me to use their bathroom to shower.

I went in the shower, and of course, seeing how it's a mostly-girl shower, there's 34,000 bottles of shampoos, conditioners, bath gels, exfoliators, defoliators and a Buick. I needed shampoo, of course, so I started sorting, dropping bottles, grumbling. I saw a white bottle with a familiar green-chalky residue on the cap. I figured dandruff shampoo was better than strawberry-melon-smell-like-a-sissy-for-two-days shampoo. Mission accomplished.

I came downstairs to wait for my buddy to come by and not watch American Idol. My daughters were sitting in the living room. My oldest became aware of something. She said, "Who washed the dog? Dad did you give Toby a bath?"

"No..."

She said, "It smells like Toby had a bath."

As she started to laugh, she said, "Daddy, it's your hair!"

Turns out, the "Head And Shoulders" was something called "Sulfodene". For dogs. Not for Lippy's.

Well, I'm not itchy, and I have no fleas or anything.

No harm, no foul.

In my defense, the dog shampoo had no label. It came off.

I know, I'm still Stupid.

26 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:42 AM

    LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!barb

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  2. That's funny. Not stupid, just funny.

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  3. OMG!! I'm sitting here laughing so hard I have tears! Sure glad you fixed that flea problem! LOL

    Jackie

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  4. Anonymous8:36 AM

    OMG!! Hilarious!! At least you're clean!
    xoxo ~Myra

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  5. ....and a buick....

    Holy cow, you crack me up!

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  6. Anonymous11:22 AM

    LOLOLOLOL this is the best laugh i've had in awhile made my day! i needed this thanks a million..kbear

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  7. I just busted out laughing....cracking up.
    The dog shampoo was the best!!
    I can see it now.....
    oldest daughter starts smelling something familiar...her nose is telling her someone smells like the dog. Can't be. She starts looking around and there sits her dad...sparkling clean and smelling just like Toby.
    Loved it!!! Too funny!

    Thanks for the laugh.

    Michele

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  8. Anonymous12:59 PM

    You so craay zee!

    ~Terry Ü

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  9. Ohhhh my gosh, I cannot stop laughing. Sorry... so sorry for laughing, but it was funny. Thank you SO MUCH for the very much needed laugh! ;)

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  10. L O L ! Oh too, too, too funny. I've almost forgotten what it's like to share a shower with a house full of girls. Giggle. Fortunately for me we never had a dog though. LOL :D

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  11. Anonymous2:40 PM

    Not a problem until you start eating the dog's food! Then we'll worry! You don't have the urge to chase cars do ya?! hehe ~Jill

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  12. What the hell were you doing in my bathroom? I recognise those items. You can't fool me!

    Geez you could have come down for a cup of coffee!

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  13. What I'm worried about is they shampoo the dog in the shower????
    OMGGGG LOLOL ;-)Gaz

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  14. Omg...just too funny! Almost peed my pants reading that. Thanks...

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  15. Hi Jimmy,
    Don't sweat it ... you made a natural mistake with the shampoo thing. Let's just hope you don't start urinating on trees.
    Best,
    Marty

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  16. hahaha! I've washed my dog with my shampoo before (she was a puppy and jumped in the shower with me - figured I might as well wash her), but never the other way around. Thanks for sharing!

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  17. This is one of your finest...in "Stupidom" AND humor. Thanks for the laugh.

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  18. What a great story.

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  19. Oh Jimmy, you really crack me up! Come on, honestly -- do you make this stuff up? LOL!

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  20. ROFL!!! Thanks for the laugh tonight! Love ya Jimmy!

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  21. HAHAHA, I'm laughing my head off! Seriously, it's on the floor! :D

    And I thought the BUICK in the shower was funny! :)

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  22. Anonymous12:33 AM

    You know, Jimmy, reading about your misdeeds makes me feel a whole heck of a lot better about wearing two different shoes to work one morning.
    Jude
    http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

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  23. You dog...

    lol I'm so sorry I couldn't resist it!

    I can't fit a Buick in my bathroom... I have to settle for a smart car.

    ~Lily

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  24. My hubby has used the dog shampoo too! We don't keep it in the shower any longer! :)

    As for breakfast...you probably needed the sugar rush of the blueberry pancakes and didn't know it!
    Love ya babe!!

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