Let's Get Stupid!

I know I'm not supposed to be "StupidJimmy" anymore, but...

The last few days have been chock full of stupid. It just sort of goes with the territory.

I had the rare opportunity to stop at my favorite diner for my favorite breakfast. Being that I was a little pressed for time, I ordered it to go. Swiss-cheese omelette, side of bacon, and french fries. (It's probably good that I don't get it too often, huh?) Anyway, when it was ready, they handed me the bag and I rushed home to eat it. I got home, opened the bag, opened the tray and WHAM! Blueberry pancakes, sausage and corn bread. I'd say that was close, right? I ate it anyway, but I still want that omelette.

My buddy indicated an interest in this season's American Idol show. I invited him over to watch it with me tonight.

It's on tomorrow, not tonight.

I played 20 dollars worth of MegaMillions lottery this past Friday. I didn't match a single number. On any of the tickets. I thought there was a prize for 0 numbers. There's not. They just call you a "loser".

But the piece de resistance came about 3 hours ago.

It was one of those days where ol' Lippy deemed it necessary to have that second shower. I was a tad grungy. The way it's worked out here, Pop and I share a bathroom, and his daughter and my kids battle it out for the other. Well tonight, it was just necessary for me to use their bathroom to shower.

I went in the shower, and of course, seeing how it's a mostly-girl shower, there's 34,000 bottles of shampoos, conditioners, bath gels, exfoliators, defoliators and a Buick. I needed shampoo, of course, so I started sorting, dropping bottles, grumbling. I saw a white bottle with a familiar green-chalky residue on the cap. I figured dandruff shampoo was better than strawberry-melon-smell-like-a-sissy-for-two-days shampoo. Mission accomplished.

I came downstairs to wait for my buddy to come by and not watch American Idol. My daughters were sitting in the living room. My oldest became aware of something. She said, "Who washed the dog? Dad did you give Toby a bath?"

"No..."

She said, "It smells like Toby had a bath."

As she started to laugh, she said, "Daddy, it's your hair!"

Turns out, the "Head And Shoulders" was something called "Sulfodene". For dogs. Not for Lippy's.

Well, I'm not itchy, and I have no fleas or anything.

No harm, no foul.

In my defense, the dog shampoo had no label. It came off.

I know, I'm still Stupid.